dandelion

joined 7 months ago
[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 days ago

A timeline of the Biden administration's pro-LGBTQ+ actions: https://www.hrc.org/resources/president-bidens-pro-lgbtq-timeline

A platform may be empty words, but you can also look at what actions have been taken. It's hard to feel satisfied by the Democrats, but to be fair they don't have control of the House or Senate.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 days ago

Transphobia in the US is closely aligned with American neo fascism.

Not all transphobes are fascists or alt-right, there are many centrists who are transphobic and I would guess a not insignificant portion of the Democratic party are transphobic. The famous anti-trans website 4thwavenow explicitly refuses to collaborate with anti-trans people on the right and are liberals. The Dems in the Senate recently passed anti-trans legislation.

The Dems are aware that the election outcome depends on the way a few swing states vote, namely: Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin (as well as North Carolina, Nevada, Arizona, and Georgia). The voters in these key races are often white, working-class and are exactly of a demographic who might be put off by a party putting trans rights in the center stage (not just due to the common disgust people feel towards trans folks, but there is also an unfortunately common perception that LGBTQ+ support is a sign of cultural and economic elitism, something university-educated people care about but not something rank-and-file workers care about, a bit like climate change and environmentalism).

The Harris v Trump debate and DNC speeches emphasized the strategy the Democrats seem to be taking: to distance themselves from less popular Progressive policies in those Rust Belt states and appeal to neoconservatives by emphasizing Harris's support for fracking, her suddenly hawkish rhetoric about creating a "most lethal fighting force", and so on.

This is just what it means for trans rights to be a political football, when it is politically convenient the Dems will use the issue to rally support, and when it is a political liability they will distance themselves or even back anti-trans positions. This is realpolitik and pragmatism, a "ends-justify-the-means" thinking which neoliberals are inclined towards.

I think it's smart for LGBTQ+ activists to motivate action and support for our rights, but there is a question of how to best do this. Even within LGBTQ+ activist and lobbying organizations, trans people have been snubbed traditionally (even as we played a pivotal role in gay liberation and rights movements):

A striking example of how transgender interests diverged from legal activism related to sexual orientation can be found in the debates about transgender inclusion in the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act that took place in late 2007. First introduced for consideration by Congresswoman Bella Abzug in the 1970s, ENDA, as the bill is known, aimed to prohibit employment discrimination based on sexual orientation. The proposed legislation didn’t make it out of committee for a full congressional debate until 1994, when the measure failed to pass by a single vote. At that time, the transgender movement did not have sufficient political clout to have gender identity or gender expression provisions added to the language of the bill—indeed, ENDA’s primary lobbyist, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), actively undermined transgender activists who were just then beginning to lobby Congress for transgender inclusion within the bill.

Eventually the HRC came around, but a similar calculus is happening with the Democrats, they ask themselves whether the risk of alienating certain voters by prioritizing trans rights as a part of their rhetoric right now is worth it. The approach Walz has taken is to act like it's weird to be so obsessed about trans people, and that means prioritizing a message of "let people live their lives" and not harping on the issue the way the Republicans do.

The extreme version of this pragmatic approach is to do what the Labour party did in the UK by flipping on the trans issue (since popular opinion had turned so against trans people) and taking an anti-trans position, which arguably has allowed them to win elections, but certainly at the costs of trans rights.

Trans rights aren't a side issue for trans people, but it's certainly a side issue for most voters, and for the Democrats. Hopefully the combined pressure from LGBTQ+ activism and lobbying will keep up enough pressure that we don't get dropped like in the UK, but it is sometimes hard to tell when to unify and when to withhold support and demand more.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

Thanks hot Wario in my area! 😊

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

I inject estradiol valerate and found my appetite increased significantly pretty much immediately. I gained 15 - 20 lbs over 6 months, and now I'm back to the weight I was before I started transition.

Considering you are underweight, don't underestimate the importance of fat in feminizing a figure. Even if just temporarily it might be good to see this as a time where you intentionally want to put on extra weight (assuming you are suppressing testosterone and maintaining estrogen dominance), because that will help develop breast growth (which are fat stores), and hips and butt (which are also fat stores). Even fat in the face seems to play a big role in feminizing it.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

When starting estradiol for the first time it seems to increase appetite, I found this to be especially true in the first 3 - 6 months. Even if estrogen generally is associated with decreased appetite, it's contextual how it impacts appetite, and in the case of estradiol initiating puberty it increases appetite (even without progesterone).

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

yeah, during COVID the mayor became famous for running attack ads against the health department, and as a result of his leadership the state legislature stripped the health department of their ability to implement any policies or directives

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well, your OP was about how resolvable your libido is now on HRT, but you didn't really talk much about how resolvable it was before or what you think accounts for the difference.

Reading between the lines, it sounds like there are many barriers in place that complicate sex for you, and maybe as you have transitioned there has been a shifting nature to the libido that makes it harder to satisfy.

Where before maybe libido was more visual, impulsive, and dissociated from the rest of you and your needs, maybe the HRT has shifted the nature of the libido, from mere craving for sex in isolation to something more like desire for intimacy with all the emotional needs associated with it.

This shift in desire might lead to increased feelings of loneliness, and increased desire for a sexual partner more than pre-HRT. That shifting desire might then create much more distress because of how inaccessible the fulfillment of those needs feels to you, not just because of bodily dysphoria and the inability to embody the kind of sexual person you would want to be with someone else, but also because the libido is now more connected to you and your feelings than the were pre-HRT, so maybe it's harder to be as indifferent or detached.

This is all highly speculative, though - I don't really know you, I'm just trying to make sense of what you have told me.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

preach

I wish someone IRL was there to give her a big hug

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

How does it compare to pre-HRT?

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

oh, yeah - I wish I could have ovaries, that would be amazing; I also wish I could have a uterus, but I guess in some ways it is convenient not to have one (no menstruating). I also like the control I have over hormones by injecting them, rather than ovaries that follow a fertility cycle that would be mostly irrelevant to my needs.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 week ago

I am sorry for what you have been through, I hope you are able to prioritize your needs and take care of yourself 🧡

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago (3 children)

yeah, I wasn't thrilled by the prospect of constant discharge either, but I think I would also just live with it if I felt I felt self-lubrication was a priority. For me the bigger reasons are about the surgery going well, the technique being well-practiced and established, etc.

You missed me with the full swap, though - do you mean you wish they could give you ovaries?

 
 

Just wanted to put it on your radar in case you didn't know about the show (I only found out about it by accident). I think it's available on Netflix.

The show was written by an enby and the cast includes a trans man and Suzy Eddie Izzard.

 

Hello, I was wondering if anyone has recommendations for tools to help with digital detox / digital minimalism.

I struggle with mild impulsivity. Whenever I open my computer I almost automatically open a browser and check social media.

It used to be a problem primarily with Reddit and news sites, but since joining Lemmy my behavior has switched to regularly checking Lemmy.

I'm looking for any tools or advice, whether cognitive-behavioral or technical like browser extensions.

In the past I used the Firefox extension called Redirector to redirect myself from certain subreddits like /r/all to something more benign (I like /r/sewing or /r/books for example), and this intervention helped break up automatic behavior and was a kind of harm reduction: still feeding the impulsivity, but with healthier content.

I was wondering if there is something like Redirector that redirects randomly with some probability (like 20% of the time it redirects to the target you specify).

 

Made souvlakis on the grill. Tofu & red onion kebabs, tzatziki sauce, pita bread, gold potato fries, tomato, lettuce.

Marinade for tofu was red wine vinegar, lemon juice, olive oil, and fresh mint & oregano from the garden. Pressed the tofu then put in marinade for a few hours.

Then I put the tofu on skewers with red onion and grilled them: https://imgur.com/a/1kiMvfE

Tzatziki sauce was made with Kite Hill Greek-style yogurt (which IMO isn't rich enough, I would have made my own cashew based yogurt from scratch if I had the extra time). Also included minced garlic cloves, minced fresh dill and mint, coarsely grated cucumbers that were salted and then squeezed with a towel to remove liquid, and some lemon juice, olive oil, salt & pepper, etc.

Pita bread was made with freshly milled wheat berries (hard white, soft white, hard red, einkorn, and spelt berries). Also used a pre-ferment to reduce the amount of yeast I needed. Also cooked those on a cast-iron in the grill, which worked well.

A lot of work, but quite delicious.

What all have you been cooking recently?

5
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/homecooks@vegantheoryclub.org
 

ingredients:

  • beyond beef with onions & taco seasoning,
  • nacho cheez (homemade, the base is cashews, potato, and carrot),
  • pickled onion,
  • pickled jalapeno,
  • lettuce,
  • tomato,
  • flour burrito tortilla,
  • fried 6" corn tortilla for tostada, and
  • homemade cashew sour cream.

recipes to get you going the right direction (not all are vegan):

For the sour cream, I put 1 cup cashews with 1 TB vinegar (preferably something like sherry vinegar, ACV works too), maybe 1/4 tsp of salt (to taste), and enough water to get to the desired consistency ("as needed"). Blend in a high-powered blender like a Vitamix until smooth.

Can also inoculate with a yogurt culture and skip the vinegar and then ferment it if you have the time (use a yogurt maker and instructions, then ferment longer for a more sour flavor).

 

Hi, just wondering if anyone else has a similar struggle as me.

Sometimes when I'm thinking in my mind, I have a voice (I know not everyone experiences this, but it sounds common enough) and this "inner" narrative voice has habituated to a masculine sounding voice.

I have noticed when I'm feeling connected with my gender and it's easier to stick with a feminized voice when speaking aloud (i.e. to others, not internal), my internal voice is likewise easier to be subconsciously feminine as well.

Some days I have a really good gender day and I wake up the next morning and my mind has reverted back to that masculine-sounding voice in my head. This isn't necessarily inherently distressing as much as it can feel invalidating or make me feel doubt and cognitive dissonance, like I am not a valid woman because my unconscious has this masculine voice, or the internal masculine voice makes it harder to feel authentic using my feminine voice. Some mornings I try to consciously make it sound more feminine and that is helpful, but some mornings it can feel overwhelming or difficult to constantly correct that masculine voice, and the practice becomes a bit like when I try to use my feminine voice with others - an exercise that makes me feel inauthentic, fake, performative, and anxious.

So far the only real solution I have to these dual problems of habituation (for inner voice and outer) is to just keep trying and persist. I have a tendency towards perfectionism, which makes me feel constantly like I am failing, and this can lead me to feel less motivated to keep trying. However, I am continuing to make an effort. I find having a weekly speech therapy appointment keeps me engaged in that process, and from letting it drop due to other pressures. It also usually makes me feel extremely affirmed, as my therapist is much happier with my progress than I am, and this usually results in finding using my femme voice easy and natural (though usually this only lasts the rest of the day, again, sleeping seems to reset everything and the next morning I wake up with a masculine voice again).

Was wondering if anyone else has habituated their inner narrative voice, how long it took for them to do that (or if they just stopped noticing or it became less relevant?), and if anyone has tips for overcoming the anxiety of using your voice in everyday situations.

I feel like forcing myself over and over into the situations has been effective in reducing how anxious I feel. Over time it has gone from feeling like I almost physically couldn't do it and a rising panic sensation to now it just feels like a bit of performance anxiety right before and I usually slip into it without too much issue - though sustaining it over a long period when speaking a lot can be challenging, and how anxious I feel seems connected to how confident I feel in my gender.

So to summarize, things that have worked for me:

  • noticing masculine inner narrative voice and willfully feminizing it in my head when I notice
  • persisting in forcing myself to feminize my voice at work and in public full-time, even when it is terrifying and just continuing to get regular exposure and ignoring the anxiety that is there
  • building confidence in my gender with styling my hair, wearing jewelry, putting on makeup, wearing feminine clothes, etc. help a little with getting on-board with using a feminine voice (I think of it as I have to pass to myself before I feel like I can try to pass with others, so finding ways to look more like your gender to yourself to build confidence will help with using your voice)

Wondering if anyone else has experiences to share or advice.

Thank you!

 

Adapted from this recipe:

https://ifoodreal.com/ukrainian-borscht/

 

Hi!

tl;dr after injecting the same amount of estradiol valerate (subq) for a month or so, I started to experience more dysphoria and signs of testosterone (esp. mental) started to come back. Any reason this might be?

Longer version / details:

I injected 5 mg (0.25 mL) of estradiol valerate subq into my thighs every four days for a while, and for a couple weeks I started injecting into my abdomen instead to avoid blood supplies.

This dose seemed like more than enough. In the past 3.4 mg every 3 days gave me blood estradiol levels of ~350 pg/mL at trough. Recent labs showed 5 mg every 4 days had ~300 pg/mL at trough for me, which was lower than I expected.

It's a good level, but I was having weird dysphoric experiences that commonly happen when my hormones are out of wack (usually when I'm taking too little estrogen). Things like really doubting my gender identity, depression (lack of motivation, lethargic), anhedonia (little pleasure, flat affect, often leads to craving short-term reward behaviors). Physiological signs of T were not as evident in this case, and the dysphoria was not as severe as in the past when my estrogen was too low. Still, it seemed a lot like my estrogen was too low.

I increased my dose to 5.4 mg and the dysphoria went away within a day and I felt amazing and continued to feel amazing. I intended to switch to 5.4 mg / 4 days instead, but on day 3 I could feel my hormones coming down and trusting my experience I injected 5 mg a day early with the intention of trying 5 mg / 3 days (which is a lot more than I have taken before in terms of what this should do to my overall levels). Still not sure what I will do next. Part of me wants to stick with a 4 day cycle to keep lower peaks and to minimize overall levels (out of principle, I know injecting is not as risky as oral routes).

I'm trying to figure out why a stable dose that seems so high and was for the most part effective would suddenly not be "enough" (assuming that's indeed what's happening).

For context I'm close to 4 months on HRT, I took bicalutamide for a bit but stopped because I don't think it helped my mental symptoms and that's the most important therapeutic goal for me with taking HRT. I switched to monotherapy after 2 months which is when I started the 5 mg / 4 days.

I've heard sometimes the body can go through phases as it adjusts to estrogen early in HRT, so maybe this is just one of those lurches or adjustments?

Anyway here are some guesses I came up with:

  • I gained some weight (like 15 lbs), some maybe I need a little more EV than before?
  • injecting into abdomen depots the oil differently than the thigh, so maybe I am seeing a slower or lower circulation of EV (or alternatively a much faster circulation that is causing a crash earlier?)
  • maybe the estrogen receptors are downregulating due to taking too high of a dose too regularly? (I see lots of debate about whether this is a thing, mostly people on Reddit rejecting the idea that this has any clinical relevance.)

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has suggestions.

Thanks so much!

1
caesar salad pizza (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/veganhomecooks@lemmy.world
 

More photos of the pizza being made: https://imgur.com/a/npeE1e8

based on this recipe (not intended as an endorsement):

https://www.eatfigsnotpigs.com/chicken-caesar-salad-pizza-vegan/

toppings:

  • herbed compound butter (fresh parsley, minced garlic, oregano)
  • tomato slices
  • red onion slices
  • mozz.
  • breaded and fried tofu (as a kind of chkn)
  • caesar salad dressing (mayo, cashew cream, mustard, capers, parm, lemon juice)
  • lettuce
  • parm
  • bacon bits (used this recipe)
 

I recently had an injection that seemed to go wrong (CW: blood, I inject EV subq and I hit something like a capillary, there was a lot of blood and it bruised badly afterwards). Within a couple days I felt unusually dysphoric as a result of what I assume was a failure for the oil to depot and slowly release over time.

I get these "dysphoric thoughts" that maybe the estrogen is causing the problems, that I don't have objective proof that I'm trans, etc. Lots of doubt, paranoia, and increasing amounts of anxiety and irrational fear (about transition, but also in general, e.g. thinking spiders are in my bed), and I start to experience depression and anhedonia (things aren't as pleasurable, everything feels pretty flat emotionally, I just feel "bad").

Of course when I inject again and it goes well, I feel much better and I forget about these problems.

I was just wondering if anyone has advice on how to deal with dysphoria when there are gaps in the HRT. Obviously in the long term, surgery will fix the hormone issue and I suspect that will fix this problem. Until then, though, I am stuck in a rather fragile place where I feel normal (even good, even amazing) when my estrogen levels are high and suppressing my testosterone. Any small slip in that and I barely function as a person.

Before HRT I would just do whatever I could to increase mental well-being:

  • physical exertion (aerobic exercise, weightlifting, etc.)
  • going outside and getting sunshine
  • keeping up with hydration
  • keeping good sleep hygiene (sleeping enough, going to sleep at the same times, etc.)
  • meditation every day

But now it feels harder for me to "bootstrap" when there are gaps in HRT and my hormones aren't right, it's like I'm no longer used to how hard it was before.

Anyway - any tips or thoughts, would like to hear other's experiences.

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