this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
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WomensStuff

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submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al to c/WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
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Hi those from all! We're a women's only community, men we appreciate your interest but please do not comment 😊

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[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I want to add, there's no reason not to indulge in reasonable self-care, and everyone should be able to, within their means. No one should be unable. The skin is the largest body organ and our first barrier defense against illness and infection.

That said, we also need to take responsibility for our own ability to love ourselves, even if that means saying we love us until we get it. Because this isn't new, and we do often do it to ourselves, probably because of no small degree of conditioning. I watched a short (~40 minutes?) doco on Elizabeth I, she had a sweet tooth, a fear of dentists (who wouldn't, in those days?), and so rotten teeth. Because of the (not altogether true) hype of poets and paramours (which is a whole other ball of wax), women with perfectly (?!) good teeth began to blacken their teeth, to imitate Elizabeth.

TL;dr Our wounding isn't always our fault; our healing is our responsibility.

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Here's how my healing has gone down.

  1. I don't shave. Period. We have hair for a reason and cutting it off with blades that can (and do) nick the skin, or pulling it painfully out by its roots, or dissolving it away with hazardous chemicals is not good for us at any level.
  2. I don't use makeup. (Well, OK, not entirely true. For very special events I might hazard some lipstick.) Most makeup clogs pores and makes the skin actively unhealthy. In response to this we're meant to use a whole bunch of chemicals of dubious provenance to clean it off our skin?
  3. I clean with just soap (yes, even my hair). Unperfumed soup. In my case I use Aleppo soap or a goat milk soap from Xinjiang. There are no perfumes, no harsh chemicals (like the laurel sulfates at the core of most shampoos, body washes, hand cleaners, etc.).
  4. I don't use commercial deodorants. I have a spray bottle (like the kind for misting leaves in a garden) 500ml in size into which I drop 1-2 teaspoons of alum powder and fill the rest with water. It lasts all day, typically, though on a really rough day I might have to apply it a second time. (I have a small sprayer at work for those rare occurrences.) It is a bit pricey, though. The last batch I bought cost about twenty-five bucks. After two years I've used up 20% or so of it…
  5. I wash with the hottest water I can stand to clean out pores. (No need for harsh chemicals if you melt the sebum that traps dirt away.) Then I rinse with the coldest water I can stand. That cold water rinse takes getting used to, but it's enervating and it somehow aids (I've had it explained to me but couldn't follow along) in moisturizing.
  6. On a very dry day I may use a neutral moisturizer (no perfumes) with a hint of petroleum jelly to help seal it in.

The result of all this is:

  1. I feel better and look better.
  2. I save a whole lot of money.
  3. I save a whole lot of time.
  4. I stop stressing about what I look like to other people; let them judge away. It's a case of mind over matter: I don't mind, they don't matter.
[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sounds great. I still shave in summer, but that's because it's cooler. Our fur should thin, in hot weather. ;) I've switched to shea moisture soap but I like the goat milk when I can get it. I mostly use the "no poo" method for my hair, sometimes with a little honey in the acv rinse, sometimes I use Shea Moisture conditioner, but I mostly do coconut oil with a "do rag" for a deeper conditioning.

No makeup. Occasional moisturizer, non-petrol. Witch hazel and mud mask for pores, sometimes steam with coconut oil for deep moisture.

Mineral salt in water for d/o. I'll have to try the alum and other tips you mentioned. Thanks so much!

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I can't afford the shea stuff here, sadly. (It's an import and not a cheap import like the Aleppo stuff.) :(

I think your "mineral salt in water" may be another way of saying "alum crystal in water" honestly. It has the same ring for sure.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ah well, I am sorry; those things may very well become expensive for me, as well. I'm not sure, about the mineral salts. I have poured them into another container so I can't see the exact ingredients.

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I did some checking around. When in the context of deodorant, "mineral salts" almost always means "potassium alum" which means you're using the same stuff I am.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 3 points 3 days ago

Good to know, thanks so much for doing the legwork for me! <3