this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
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[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 8 hours ago

I like how this users history is just animal communities and shit posting.

[–] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 6 points 14 hours ago

The closest thing to flowers I ever received was a cactus. It died.

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

LPT: If you want to keep her, you get her both at the same time.

[–] FilthyHookerSpit@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

But I only have $5.00 🥲

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

A flower and half a chicken?!!

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 1 points 11 hours ago

Haha, you'll have to repay the debt another way then, brokie.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But the chicken looks like shit in a vase after like 1 day whether you water it or not.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Rookie mistake, you forgot to take the meat off and bleach the bones. Sure, it's a lot of work, but a glass vase full of chicken bones is a time-honored legacy.

[–] Hupf 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

That would be me. I would tear into that fucker right on the drive home.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

Or you can get her a hotdog combo and still have $3.50 left to spend for yourself.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 78 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You may fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese 🧀

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I am not a woman, but I would be fascinated too

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Fun fact: if you are ever on a plane with a crying baby take a slice of cheese and carefully place it on the babies face. The parents will be so happy with you for calming the baby.

I read that on Reddit at some point. It seems like solid advise.

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[–] RejZoR@lemmy.ml 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Problem is, she's vegan, so she's against picking flowers and against eating chicken.

It's best you just save the money for a month or several and buy her LEGO.

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 28 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Get out of here oligarch. No working man has LEGO money in 2025.

[–] epicstove@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Lego is like the modern version of roman families handing down their armor and weapons to future generations BC ain't no fucking way they affording a whole new set each damn time the Gauls start acting up.

[–] 30p87 1 points 5 hours ago

Especially when the old armor is solid metal, best quality on the market, while the new armor is plastic crap made in China, still trying to position itself as market leader.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

If they'd had Lego they could build fresh armor to fit

[–] AngrySquirrel@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

I really hope my mom hasn't gotten rid of my lego collection after I moved out like she did with my rocketry collection without asking me...

[–] 30p87 7 points 1 day ago

And no oligarch will spend 500€ on a crap LEGO car when a real (used) one costs less. And while Cada has much better ones for 200€.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Wait, why are vegans against picking flowers? Broccoli is a flower! It needs to be picked before eating!

[–] flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 23 hours ago

Lots of vegans, and non-vegans, are anti-picking-of-flowers, because if you leave them to live, they live longer and look prettier, instead of wilting sadly in a vase until they're fully dead.

So for some people, it's better to give them a live plant, so they can kill it by accident on their own time.

[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 23 hours ago

Ive been vegan for more than a decade and most of my circle is vegan. I don't think i know of any vegans against cut flowers. The only argument i can see is that if you were cutting flowers found in the wild then you could be harming the environment which indirectly hurts the wildlife and pollinators. But i think most vegans would be ok with buying flowers. My wife and i also just grow our own and cut only a fraction of what we plant.

Btw if we're talking about Costco for chicken, they do have reasonably sized bouquets for as cheap as $10. And while that chicken will be gone in a day or two, Ive kept a Costco bouquet alive for my wife for a minimum of a week.

[–] huppakee@lemm.ee 2 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Picking wild flowers disrupts the circle of life, artificially growing flowers requires energy, fertilizer and insecticides which also disrupts the circle of life. Best option is to buy her broccoli instead. Don't wrap it though, wrapping paper is basically really flat chopped trees with a layer of chemicals on top. No ribbons either. Maybe some sauce, but not milk/yoghurt/egg-based.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

Sure but who said anything about picking wild flowers just to waste them? I propagate wild flowers in my back yard to help native pollinators. They also visit my vegetable garden! I love to see all the different bees and hoverflies!

[–] RejZoR@lemmy.ml 3 points 23 hours ago

Broccoli is for sustinance, picked flower will just needlesly die. :P

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 12 points 1 day ago

or, like, a whole egg

[–] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Or get a chicken bake, a hot dog and a soda and still have money left over.

Edit: I just went to costco and their chicken bakes are 3.99 not 2.99 😭

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can go out into a field and pick a whole cute looking bucket of flowers. Chicken it is.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

In that case, do both. Cause I’m already counting on chicken.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Also those Costco chickens are way better than regular grocery store chickens from like Safeway or whatever. They’re way bigger and juicier, I think they’re brined or something. It’s like other stores aren’t even trying.

[–] Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works 1 points 15 hours ago

Got to admit, Costco product are always A class products.

As an AroAce women I think the choice is very obvious :3

(Especially if garlic bread is a side dish with the chicken and maybe a salad)

[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Don’t you mean get “Us” a rotisserie chicken?

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 41 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You stay away from my chicken!

[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just hear me out, what if instead it was our chicken?

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 41 points 1 day ago (5 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

They could have made him look more Staliny.

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[–] tang999@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

Just don't eat the chicken on the way home. You're asking for trouble.

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I’d be picking them bones, know what I’m saying?

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The flowers?

[–] WereHacker@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 day ago

It is mayday after all. The theme should be bread and roses. You should have your chicken and the flowers too.

[–] CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Do the flowers also contain concentrated microplastics?

[–] breakingcups@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Those are complimentary

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Of course! What doesn’t nowadays…

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