this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 54 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Monk was passing through. Some villagers saw him pissing on a statue of Buddha so they grabbed their pitchforks and went to pitchfork him. "Show me where Buddha is not, and I shall piss there." said the monk.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Some Buddha once told me Rebirth was gonna roll me...

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 29 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It is better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

The word of the Lord, amen. 🙏

[–] MDCCCLV@lemmy.ca 39 points 6 days ago (6 children)

The hungry tiger jataka is my favorite

"One day, the Bodhisattva and one of his disciples decided to take a stroll in the forest nearby. This had become a regular practice. They often went for strolls.

While they were walking, the Bodhisattva notices something extremely terrifying. He saw a tigress, which looked weak and hungry. The tigress was about to devour her own cubs. Now, that moved the Bodhisattva’s heart. He did not want the poor animal to suffer the guilt of eating her own cubs. So, he came up with an idea.

He sent his disciple back to do something. The Bodhisattva had decided that he would offer himself as food to the starving tigress. He simply could not let her eat her cubs. And he knew if his disciple had seen this, he would definitely stop the Bodhisattva from offering himself. You may also like to read, The Tiger And The Golden Bangle.

After the disciple is gone, the Bodhisattva approached the tigress. With the utmost compassion in his heart and no malice, he let the tigress devour him. The tigress ate him and fed the cubs as well. After a while, the disciple returned. When he saw the Bodhisattva’s blood stained clothes, he realized what had happened.

He knew the Bodhisattva well. So, he knew the hermit had offered himself to save the tigress. He went back and told his fellow disciples of the Bodhisattva’s sacrifice out of love and compassion. "

[–] Transtronaut@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I think I figured out why Bodhisattvas went extinct.

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 days ago

Nah, they just get reborn. Like, ping

The problem is that tigers have a taste for Bodhisattvas now.

[–] Woht24@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

... What?

6 paragraphs for 'old mate fed himself to a tiger'.

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[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 9 points 6 days ago

Upon seeing the blood stained clothes, the disciple said 'Hey I was hungry, too! Fucking weirdo.'

The disciple was named Colonel Sanders and this was his inspiration to invent the hamberder and never be hungry again.

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[–] EightBitBlood@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

Buddha wants a "peace" of pizza.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 10 points 6 days ago

You'll get it after fasting for 20 days straight I've heard.

The loneliest goat sees the last sunset last

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the pizza was cooked long ago.

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koans fucking with white people is just a fringe benefit TBH

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 3 points 5 days ago
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