Asklemmy

Even if it were possible, I still would not prefer to have any kids.

First off, I haven't even been a "proper adult", and probably would never be. How can I be expected to raise a child with the care and love they deserve when I don't even have my life sorted out? Even if you argue that I'd have to change once having a child, I've also seen people fail to change even after having children they swore they loved even more than their own life.

Secondly, we've already got enough people that are unwanted and abandoned. Why not take better care of people we already have now?

Lastly, parenting is a huge commitment. It's not just about you and your "legacy", but another life that will suffer for your mistakes. For those who are up to the task and willingly take on the responsibility, thank you and best of luck!

I'm 42 and have known since I was 4 years old that I never wanted to be a mother. It's seriously one of my earliest memories - I didn't want to make my bed, my mother was exasperated with me and said "you'll be sad you treated me so badly when you have kids of your own"... and I remember being just appalled at the thought of being a parent.

I just don't enjoy children. I like peace, quiet, and order, and the freedom to do what I want without having to factor in children. Plus it looks super stressful to be a parent. I have 2 nephews and a niece, and while they're good kids, their parents always look so utterly exhausted and overwhelmed. And I'm definitely not good at being an aunt - interacting with children just doesn't come naturally to me.

Everyone told me I'd grow out of it. I had to fight to get my tubes tied in my mid-twenties (for real, I had to see so many doctors and had a botched Essure procedure at Planned Parenthood before I finally found an OBGYN who would take me seriously!).

No ~~regrets~~ rugrats!

No biological kids. In my opinion, there is no reason to produce biological children when there already are millions of parentless, unloved children in foster homes.

That being said, some days I yearn to take care of a child - to know I have given an existing being the opportunity to a better life.

I always wanted children. Damn near every major life choice has been fueled by that. Took a job I knew I wouldn't be happy at, but could be successful at to provide a better life. Yhe cars I've bought the safety rating for kids was to priority followed by reliability. The house I bought is within walking distance of every grade school, and the basement could easily be setup for a hangout spot for the teen years, oh and a good sized backyard for playing. One of the reasons I stayed at this job is I'm at max PTO and they actually offer paternity leave! I always make mental notes of fun places for kids so I could take them. When they were younger, and I was still considered cool, my niece and nephew wanted to move in with me 😆.

Just never met the right lady.

I'm a parent, and we made the conscious decision to become parents. That said, I can fully understand people who don't want to have that responsibility. It can be exhausting and thankless, changing almost everything with your life, hobbies and habits.

On the other side of the coin, the depth of love you feel as a parent is impossible to describe. With that comes a set of incredible feelings, watching your children experience, learn and grow.

Basically, parenthood is almost completely thankless, but I wouldn't give it up for the world.

No kids.

I don't want any more stress, and I don't like kids anyway. Plus the idea of bringing someone else in this world... I want to die, why would I cause living to someone else?

And even if my views do change in the future, I'd rather go for adoption. Not only would I not create more life, but I could perhaps give someone a better chance.
I don't really understand the appeal of your kids being blood-related anyway. What's the point?

No. I hate to live, my country and this entire world. Plus, there’s no future for humanity. I don’t want my children to feel this way.

No kids, ever. I can hardly take care of myself, can't even be trusted with a plant, and I find them disgusting. Who will care for me when I am old? I have worked long and hard with the elderly, and knowing how many of them were abandoned by their families, it is easy to see that my odds are better investing the money I would use to raise a child, in a retirement fund instead.

But with how broke I am, I am not even getting to do the retirement fund thing, so yay. Glad I didn't let an ex change my mind when I was earning a lot back in the day, because those jobs got "optimized" and outsourced.

Kids.

Nothing comes close to how difficult it is. It takes everything.

Nothing comes close to how amazing it is, and I mean nothing! It’s fantastic, rewarding in so many ways, it even develops your character.

I didn’t know I wanted them.

There would have to be some dramatic changes in the world socially and politically before I'll feel even remotely comfortable having kids. Also my finances would need to change.

And my family also has some genetic issues I'd rather not pass on.

Adoption is an option, but I'm pretty sure I don't even want one in the first place. When I was younger I thought having kids seemed like a sucker's game. My opinion has softened on that a bit, but it's still difficult to imagine actually wanting children.

I often feel like the odd one out in this conversation because I feel like I'm the only person with no strong feelings one way or the other. Like I could be totally okay with never having kids, but also fine with having kids.

It's not such a binary thing. For example, you can obtain some, hodl for a bit, and later return them for a profit. It's basically like the stock market, except people refer to the money you get as a "ransom" rather than a "profit" for some reason. What many people outside the industry don't know is that it doesn't officially become a crime until police get involved. So just insist on "No police!" in your sales calls. /s

Having no kids. I currently have no children and do not plan to. I am satisfied with my life. My only real concerns are about who would support me when I age. Not monetarily but just in case my mind starts to slip and I need someone to help me get the help I need. I don't feel comfortable having a child or adopting with that being the sole reason.

I'm in my mid 40s now but I knew even when I was a kid that I never wanted kids. I see my friends and family now struggling with their own children and I just cannot imagine that life for me. I have no regrets not having kids, but if I ever did, I know it's better to regret NOT having them than to regret having them.

Kids for me. They have improved my life more than anything else. Having the first two pushed me to go back to school and get a real job. I got more when my ex & I split and I married a guy with kids; we have a staggering number between us, most were teens or older when we got together and they are all close now, so they have a network of family to help and socialize with. The youngest is almost done with high school so we are in the final stretch of having them at home. The Thanksgiving feast here is insane, so many people, chaotic and fun.

Now - having said all that, I always knew I wanted kids, not necessarily to birth them but to raise them. Babies are adorable , little kids blistering cute, teenagers so much fun and occasionally helpful, and then they grow up and are actual people. It is work I find fulfilling and it helps the world to have educated, sensible, open-minded people. Most of my kids don't want kids themselves and that's fine! Everyone has their own life to live.

So for me, kids. For you, whatever you want, I don't think it's essential to become an adult and don't think it's the only way to get a family either.

I was well into my 40's when my kid was born, so I've had it both ways. I vastly prefer the kid. Yes it sucks to not being able to do some stuff on occasion. It even sucks more that my parents are gone so I have a real hard time finding babysitters. But I just love the little one so damn much!

If my life were financially more secure and if the climate didn’t seem objectively fucked in the future I could imagine myself being a happy father of kids

I don't have social life. I want kids. It's a fucking contradiction.

I don't have time for this, also every persons i know see their health being ruined giving birth. So thanks but no, My health is more important.

Have seen both sides of the fence on this.

Met my first wife when I was in my 20s, she was a bit older, already divorced with kids. We were together for over 10 years, and one of her sons lived with us off and on during his teenage years. We enjoyed all the benefits of a childless existence - disposable income, freedom to do whatever we wanted evenings/weekends, etc, etc.

Eventually our marriage broke down. The reasons for it are entirely unrelated to us not having kids, but we were definitely not destined to be together for the rest of our lives.

About a year or so later I met an incredible woman, and I truly learned what it meant to have a soulmate. We were awesome together. She already had two young kids - 6yo and 9yo - and, a year or so later again, we had our own baby girl. We married a couple of years after that.

We now have a family that includes an amazing 21yo woman, a fabulous 18yo fella, and a beautiful 10yo daughter. My life is complete and I can't imagine it without any of them in it.

When you know, you know.

I love kids, however, with the current situation of our planet and the inhabitants of it, no more. I just hope that our youngest will be able to grow up and live a full life. Shit is going downhill at an accelerated rate.

I never want kids. I don't know how they're going to take the news.

I'm in my 40s now and never liked children, even when I was one myself. So to me the decision not to procreate came very natural and has never changed. I was so certain that I never wanted any kids that I got myself sterilized when I was 25 or 26, don't remember exactly. Just to be certain I couldn't be trapped by some oopsie. Didn't regret that step for a second.

No thank you, no kids.

I like my freedom and that it is quiet.

The moment humans brought nuclear armaments into the world was also the moment that we severed ourselves from our humanity. We are still living in the shadows of metaphorical guns to our heads. This escalation of madness has led us down a very dark path, and for that reason, I'm out.

I don’t have kids of my own, but through my time with my step-kids, I’ve learned I would’ve loved to have one or two. I totally understand people who don’t want kids. They can be a huge, expensive hassle. But I feel like I’ve gotten so much more back from them than it ever cost me. Plus they gave me this cup that I drink from every morning.