this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
1084 points (98.7% liked)

Not The Onion

16129 readers
2196 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 125 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I'm not going to have a lot of sympathy for anyone who lets that guy put his dick in them.

[–] coyootje@lemmy.world 99 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Well apparently he doesn't do that, news outlets are saying that all of his kids are from ivf.

[–] RedPostItNote@lemmy.world 89 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 78 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Since Leon and Zuck killed factchecking, there is nothing stopping me from believing this.

[–] RedPostItNote@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

If he denies it I think he should just show us dick. SHOW US YOUR FREAK DICK ELON

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Put it up on the board next to hunters, and give mtg a laser pointer.

[–] lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

POST HOG POST HOG POST HOG POST HOG OR STFU YOU FUCKING WEIRD LITTLE CREEP

[–] RedPostItNote@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

If I can get someone to yell this at this mother fucker I will die happy

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago

Probably but Azealia Banks is a bit insane and I doubt she's ever had more than a passing (positive) interaction with Grimes.

[–] Jumpingspiderman@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

People are saying it’s because Elon was born intersex and the male gender affirming surgery they had rendered his pecker non-functional. People are saying this a lot.

[–] boonhet@lemm.ee 16 points 2 weeks ago

Tremendous people, the best people.

[–] huppakee@lemm.ee 4 points 2 weeks ago

Would explain a lot

[–] Bonus@lemm.ee 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not even if it was with a turkey baster.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

What about a stress ball, a 9-iron, and a jar of mayo?

[–] Thassodar@lemm.ee 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I see you're also familiar with Dirty Mike and The Boys

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] Bonus@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago

That's called a soup kitchen.