this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No one and probably won't any time soon for a plethora of reasons. When I hooked up with a guy for the first time he really made me feel attractive and wanted and I almost broke down too. Terrible self-esteem and being starved for affection is a rough time.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well fuck, that's rough. Take a bit to find out why and work on it. Best of luck to you

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh I know why, it's not like I couldn't find a relationship if I tried, it's that I think I'd be a terrible partner and my presence in someone's life would make it worse and I'm not willing to do that to someone. Struggling incredibly with ADHD and I don't think I'd be able to give a partner the proper time and attention due to the need to shovel stimulation into the black hole that is my brain, and I have bad depressive crashes, much worse than the baseline misery, that no one can help with and make people who care about me feel bad and guilty about not being able to help. Things have to improve a lot for me to seriously consider dating, and at this point I know better than to think that could happen.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Gotta work on it. There's someone for you, I know it's cheesy as hell, but theres a ton of us and all of us get lonely and have the same issues give or take.

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Plenty of toxic women out there.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

There are plenty of foods I don't like, I avoid em

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

If we're using food as an example, pick which mushroom is the toxic one to avoid

A)

2326

B)

2327

One of them will kill you. Choose wisely.

(My point is that toxic women can often mask as nontoxic for quite some time, much like you can't just tell by looking at these mushrooms which will kill you, you can't always tell by looking at women which are toxic either. Sure the Aminita Muscara may be identifiable and so would any woman with glaring toxicity, but sneaky ones lije these are afoot too, and much like other abusive relationships frog, boiling water, yadda yadda you've heard that bit before.)

[–] drasglaf@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

First one, Amanita Phalloides if I'm not mistaken.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] drasglaf@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

I like my liver solid as it is, thank you very much.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Well yeah, but over time you start to realize behaviors. Just like over time, we've learned to rub potentially hazardous foods on your skin, then wait, the mucus membrane, then wait, then tiny piece, then wait. You don't just jump right in with some random mushrooms.

I'm not knocking anyone for getting your first crazy SO surprise, but after a bit it's a George W. Bush fool me once shame on, shame on you, fool me, can't get fooled again situation.

Make boundaries, communicate, and go after what you want and try to work on what you don't, and if it's not possible it's time to go. sometimes that's not easy, but relationships aren't easy.

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You're very smart. Often you don't know until it's too late and then getting out of that situation isn't easy.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Be honest with yourself and your partner in what you want. If those boundaries are crossed, dip.

[–] MonkeyBusiness@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

As a level 1 autistic man, I'm a magnet for toxic women. It's like they hunt for guys like me. It takes me a really long time around a woman before I drop my guard.

[–] mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] felbane@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

This helped everyone. Thank you.

[–] MonkeyBusiness@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's the autism that may be maskable to an extent and the person is more independent than levels 2 & 3. It used to be called Asperger's.

[–] mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I never knew there were official levels I assumed you were using a self assessed scale.

[–] MonkeyBusiness@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, 3 levels. They vaguely communicate how much support the person needs with one being the least support and 3 being needing relatively the most.

[–] mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Thanks yeah I just looked and I’d say I’m a Level 1 on that scale. TMYK.

[–] MonkeyBusiness@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

You're welcome