Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon tries to understand his coworker (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 month ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] erev@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't disagree with you that anon should've asked more questions, but platonic flirting is kinda wacky without a well established rapport beforehand. Otherwise it's just flirting, and can be confusing.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's also confusing being asked somewhere and never being told it's being treated as a date.

[–] erev@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

thats valid! both people here were kinda shitty to each other

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why not ask? If a guy asks a girl (or vice versa) to go somewhere and it's not abundantly clear it's not a date (e.g. you've done similar things together before, they're openly gay, or they explicitly said it's not a date), then it should be assumed to be a date unless clarified otherwise. So if they don't specify and you're unsure, then ask.

That said, her leaving is also odd. A misunderstanding shouldn't be a big deal. Show up the next day and laugh about it, and you're golden. I wouldn't be mad if that happened to me, nor should either anon or the girl. It's just a misunderstanding, it's really no big deal.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why do you see a date as the default for men and women hanging out together?

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's just how social expectations are. I recommend you go ask a handful of single men you know (i.e. coworkers) whether they'd consider a 1:1 outing with a woman to be a "date." I'm guessing most would say yes.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Context matters: they're coworkers.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Exactly, they're coworkers where OP isn't certain if they were flirting or just being friendly, and other coworkers confirm she's flirting. To me that means:

they don't have a good enough relationship to tell the difference, so probably not "friends"
other coworkers don't seem to experience the same thing
claims to not have other friends (surely she'd mention a BF, no?)

So to me, that sounds very much like she's flirting, so it's totally understandable for OP to consider it a date.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago

Facts:

Anon intended for this to be a date.
Anon never said this was a date.
Anon never asked if she was single.