Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon tries to understand his coworker (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't necessarily agree she was leading him on. It was a miscommunication. It's an extremely common story if men misinterpreting women's behavior as pursuit when it is often just friendly. Even then, platonic flirting is a thing. If anon really intended for this to be a date, why did he at no point ask if she was single? We can sit here all day and debate whether the girl's "flirting" was appropriate or not and whether she should've said she had a boyfriend, but it goes both ways. What we do know is that, to anon, this was a date and that anon never asked if she was single at any point in the two weeks.

[–] erev@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't disagree with you that anon should've asked more questions, but platonic flirting is kinda wacky without a well established rapport beforehand. Otherwise it's just flirting, and can be confusing.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's also confusing being asked somewhere and never being told it's being treated as a date.

[–] erev@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

thats valid! both people here were kinda shitty to each other

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Why not ask? If a guy asks a girl (or vice versa) to go somewhere and it's not abundantly clear it's not a date (e.g. you've done similar things together before, they're openly gay, or they explicitly said it's not a date), then it should be assumed to be a date unless clarified otherwise. So if they don't specify and you're unsure, then ask.

That said, her leaving is also odd. A misunderstanding shouldn't be a big deal. Show up the next day and laugh about it, and you're golden. I wouldn't be mad if that happened to me, nor should either anon or the girl. It's just a misunderstanding, it's really no big deal.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Why do you see a date as the default for men and women hanging out together?

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That's just how social expectations are. I recommend you go ask a handful of single men you know (i.e. coworkers) whether they'd consider a 1:1 outing with a woman to be a "date." I'm guessing most would say yes.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 0 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Context matters: they're coworkers.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Exactly, they're coworkers where OP isn't certain if they were flirting or just being friendly, and other coworkers confirm she's flirting. To me that means:

they don't have a good enough relationship to tell the difference, so probably not "friends"
other coworkers don't seem to experience the same thing
claims to not have other friends (surely she'd mention a BF, no?)

So to me, that sounds very much like she's flirting, so it's totally understandable for OP to consider it a date.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 5 days ago

Facts:

Anon intended for this to be a date.
Anon never said this was a date.
Anon never asked if she was single.