Five days ago, drag was banned from !politicalmemes@lemmy.world for using neopronouns. A comment explaining drag's pronouns, and a comment saying "drag" isn't a nickname, were removed with the reason "trolling". Drag understands why someone would think that using different pronouns than most people is trolling - transphobia. However, drag is confused how on earth not liking a nickname is a violation of any rules anywhere.
Context of the removed comments:
Drag would like to pre-empt any further accusations of trolling by asking a question: If drag were a right wing troll, and you chose to freely accept drag's pronouns, wouldn't that completely neuter the trolling attempt? Trolling is about trying to make others upset. You don't have to get upset when someone uses unusual pronouns. If you aren't transphobic, then it's impossible to troll you that way. And drag promises: drag wants you to not be transphobic. Drag is not trying to upset anyone. If you do what drag wants you to do, then you get what you want too. This is a non-issue, there's only a problem if you want there to be.
EDIT: DRAG DID NOT TELL ANYBODY TO USE DRAG'S PREFERRED PRONOUNS.
YDI. Replacing ungendered pronouns and insisting on their usage by others to refer to you is, at best, being annoying for its own sake. Like that fellow who insisted that their gender was 'droneself', or Phlubbadubba suddenly taking up Old English.
Drone rights!
That was fundamentally a narcissist co-opting gender politics to control conversations. I think we’re seeing something similar here.
I remember that person, I'm basically convinced they were a troll, they're basically taking advantage of the fact that decent and well meaning people try their best to follow pronoun preferences, and are asking them to do something extremely difficult and lashing out and abusing those people when they make a mistake.
Honestly I have great hostility towards people who do this shit, because they are utilizing pronoun preferences as a form of bad-faith trolling so they can accuse people of being transphobes. I've had a lot of moments where I made myself feel really bad about encounters like this and felt like an awful person only to figure out later either from going back on the history of the interaction, or from talking with my other trans friends that I wasn't wrong or the asshole, they were.
I have a friend who does legitimately use noun pronouns (demon/demonself), however they also use they/them and ze/zir and they don't flip out when people don't use demon/demonself pronouns, they also don't yell at people for getting their pronouns wrong on accident. They usually just correct people, if it was on purpose they have gotten mad, they told me about a time when some transphobic right-winger insisted they were a "boy with boobs" and they did yell at that person, but they wouldn't yell at a random person IRL or online for saying miss/ma'am/sir because that isn't a reasonable or respectful reaction to something that was or likely was a mistake.
They didn't insist anyone use it, they only explained it. This doesn't merit removing comments, let alone a ban.
No, they absolutely insist. Constantly.
No drag doesn't.
What is this then? https://lemmy.nz/post/15901069/11844110
That's drag insisting someone not use a different set of gendered pronouns. If they'd edited the comment to they/them, drag wouldn't have complained. They decided to misgender drag on purpose and got their comments removed.
You implied you have proof of drag insisting others use drag's neopronouns. Where's that proof?
https://lemmy.nz/post/15046877/11399059
saying “i don’t want/like this” is not “absolutely insisting constantly” and if that’s SERIOUSLY the best you have for examples i think you know exactly what i mean.
it costs you nothing to not be an asshole, you’re going through a lot of effort seemingly just to make someone feel bad.
I'm very supportive to use correct pronouns for 3rd person.
This user seems to want to take use neopronouns 1st and 2nd person too.
What is the issue with "I" and "you"? Everyone defining their own pronouns for those two, while they are gender neutral, seems confusing.
Maybe I'm missing something.
no one should have to reconcile their preferences for you to take them seriously.
i don’t know why bill is a common shortening of william, but i don’t refuse to call bills by their chosen name.
the other thing is you can just choose to not interact, like genuinely no one is forcing you to do anything here.
That's a first name, not a pronoun. Or you never use "you" when you talk to Bill? Bill does not use "I" when he needs to talk about himself?
The objective of this community is to identify whether mods are power tripping. Identifying them helps the platform as a whole, identifying potential trolls as well
i feel like you’re willfully misunderstanding me to some degree so i’ll just repeat the operative part of the comment that you ignored just now.
no one should have to reconcile their preferences for you to take them seriously.
i’m not trying to argue semantics. you clearly know what i meant with the name analogy, you’re just doubling down on not respecting a preference you don’t consider valid.
Then should we just stop using 1st person pronouns altogether? I guess that's the main issue here, even though the mod could be power tripping, most of the people here don't understand why OP doesn't just use "I", as it's the neutral, inclusive pronoun that everyone has been using in English to designate themselves for centuries.
Using the correct pronouns to refer to someone in 3rd person is important as English uses gender pronouns, and that should definitely be respected.
Confusing people using another pronoun instead of I and not even using 1st person forms "Drag is" rather than "Drag am" for no visible benefit, is what is the issue here.
Reminds me of this thread, where the OP was gendered as "goddess" and asked people to capitalize their pronouns https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/14491263
are you kidding me? can you only think in absolutes? stop wasting both of our time.
if doing something purely for someone else’s benefit is really such a foreign concept to you then i can offer you nothing except my sympathy.
DroneRights? They absolutely insisted, to the point of creating a community dedicated to chronologging the extent of their victim complex and persecution fetish
The only reason that stopped is because they kept getting banned when they would post to that community from their ban evading alts
I think it's very concerning that at no point did the admins of that server ever intervene and axe that community and user for their vile and harassing behavior. Like accusing user Stamets of being a racist for, I don't even actually know, because he disagreed with them? Because he banned them? I don't even remember. It was stupid and uncalled for.
Phlubbadubba is based and drag always thought you were based in the past when reading your comments. Maybe you misunderstood? Drag never insisted that gamermahn should use drag's preferred pronouns. Gamermahn specifically asked, as you can see in the screenshot, and drag only replied to answer that question. The only reason there was any conflict is because Gamermahn asked a question about drag's pronouns and then proceeded to argue with the answer. Drag didn't do anything to antagonise them, they came into that situation looking for a fight. And drag didn't give them one, drag calmly answered their question and used please when asking not to be called by a nickname.