[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

Either through memes or comments I keep seeing this sentiment pop-up from time to time. And I'm wondering what your (yes, you) consensus is on it.

I for one am too pessimistic to do anything with potential hints. Like even if there is a good chance I still just don't want to risk it.

I’m wondering if cats think of us kind of like how a person thinks of a friendly bull: aware that they could easily kill us, but not necessarily afraid of them; or more like a large Dalmatian: they could fuck us up, but most of us don’t really think about that unless they’re being aggressive.

I grew up with dogs and feel like I understand them a lot better than I do cats as a whole. I adopted my cat almost four years ago and I feel like I get her pretty well, but I don’t really have an idea of what she thinks about me. I also don’t really know any other cats, though I’ve gotten along with strays and friends’ cats a lot better since I got mine.

Cat tax:

I was having a bad stressful dream like I often do. But then I realized I was just dreaming and that I don't want to dream this shite. So then I dreamed something else.

That was nice.

I’m watching Love on the Spectrum with my husband (great show!), eating a coconut popsicle, and petting one of my dogs. It’s a great Saturday night in my book :)

Mine is to to keep chocolate in the fridge. It's a lot crunchier and has more chocolate taste.

Just found the one linked, I like it but I can't find the high resolution version, so I was curious to see where people get theirs.

Mine was cancelled as it should have happened during covid.

I might have gone just to see a few people I enjoyed hanging out with, but lost touch with. And it's okay, life happened and we all moved on to something else.

I still have a few friends from high school I see on a regular basis, so maybe I have actually regular high school reunions?

I know we usually don't talk video games here, but I thought discussing relaxing games might still be nice

I've been happily posting away here on two accounts since just before the Great Migration, and have no problem being openly a woman on the internet. Up to and including correcting people who assume I'm a guy, and even occasionally acknowledging the existence of periods.

Which, honestly that was a bad tactic back on Reddit, my inbox was a nightmare. But here it's gone much better, so thank you to anyone who ever received one of my corrections with good grace!

It's also brought quite a few DMs my way from other women who try to stay more anonymous with their posts, a choice I can completely understand.

So today on International Women's Day I just want to wave hello to the other women out there, even if you don't want to break cover and wave back. Anonymous or not, cis or trans, I see you out there and you're killing it.

This may break the community rule on encouraging discussion, if nobody wants to out themselves to say hello back. So I guess I should also ask a question.

Um...anyone else using it as an excuse to treat themselves today? I've given myself the day (mostly) off work and am doing some fun gamedev all afternoon instead, then we're planning a takeaway tonight. Easily pleased, perhaps, but sounds good to me 😄

So I don't really know how to ask this question because I can't quite explain what I really mean or want to ask.

I am now 30 years old and I couldn't be in a better situation than currently. My job is fun and providing me enough money to live a happy life and pay my own built house (I am a nurse). I have way more free time than lets say even in my childhood. I remember coming home from school and feeling anxiety cause of exams. I remember nursing school, it was hell for me.

Now all I have to do is go to work and when my shift is done I am off and can do whatever I want whenever I want. I don't have to ask parents to drive me somewhere, I have my own money, I have my own house, I can play video games all day... and still, I don't know why but nostalgia is real.

I am not even sure if my feelings are real. I can only give silly examples like coming home from school, logging into world of warcraft with friends and having a blast. But I don't think it was like that. We were all just in skype and everyone was minding their own business in that game. We had good laughs though.

I don't know. My life should be so much better than it was 15 years ago but I miss the 2000s era. It all just felt so different. I remember the hot summers going to the lake with friends.

Now? I don't know. Maybe it is because it seems like I am the only one that has so much "time" and no one really joins anymore. While I have a wife and no kids and most of my friends don't even have a wife yet (so no kids....) they still are somehow busy and don't go to the lake anymore, don't play video games anymore, don't do anything. I actually wonder what they do all day.

Life felt more exciting back then. Maybe because I had goals and now I am "done"? But this should feel good. I am happy that I am "done". House, wife, job. Those were the things I wanted back then and now I am more than happy to have those things.

By appreciating I mean taking the time to take something in more thoroughly than skimming, while also not letting oneself lose track of what's happening around them.

Before I begin- Again, please no medical advice or suggestions. I am going to the Mayo Clinic in March and I will get their advice and I am just going to ignore any medical advice posted, sorry. Please no pity party either, I'm just angry and need a a place to rant and vent, that's it. Feel free to ignore this post and move on.

So... starting in about January of 2023, I started dry heaving almost every morning and this has happened ever since. Nothing has ever come up. Within five minutes of getting up in the morning, I dry heave. Sometimes once, but sometimes a few times.

In March, I stopped eating for six weeks. It's not like I'm too nauseated to eat or I feel too full to eat, I just do not want to eat. Period. I've explained it to others like this- would you be able to eat a turd? No. That's how all solid food feels like to me. I can't even force myself. It's a total aversion to food. Even the smells of food can trigger it, especially savory smells like onions, cooked meat or cheese (meaning I hide in my office in the garage when my wife and daughter have pizza). My current doctor has described it as anorexia but with a physical cause.

I went to urgent care, they told me to go to the ER because they couldn't give me the diagnostics I would need. I went to the ER. They gave me X-rays, they took labs, and they did a couple of other tests I can't remember now and sent it all to my doctor (who I've since gotten rid of because she was worthless). She told me there were no results, but to be sure I also needed a CT scan, and my insurance wouldn't let me go to a private facility, so my only option to get it quickly was to go back to the ER the next day and get one. Incidentally, the first day was an 8-hour visit and the second day was a 6-hour visit. Hooray American healthcare system.

I got prescribed various anti-nausea medications, which were of no help because I had no nausea. I ended up living on Ensure and Gatorade.

Anyway, by mid-April, I was eating again. It just suddenly happened. I felt like eating, ate some crackers, and I was fine with an appetite again. I still heaved every day, but I was fine.

I also had to do a colonoscopy the next month, and just to be sure, I scheduled an EGD where they check your stomach as well. They found an ulcer. Finally, an answer! Nope. They did another EGD six weeks later, the ulcer was gone and I was still heaving.

No one knew what was wrong, of course, but it seemed less urgent. I scheduled a bunch of tests and, since this is the U.S., they were scheduled for months later and the summer started.

Then, in August, on the morning of August 20th, it all changed. I got up, ate some cereal, and that was the last thing I ever ate so far.

Back to the doctors it was! This time, I got a head MRI in case it was neurological, as I do have a rare nerve disorder as well (trigeminal neuralgia) because I won the fucking genetic lottery. Nope, MRI showed nothing. My neurologist actually said my brain was the most healthy she'd seen in a while. So that didn't work.

I couldn't keep taking time off of work, so I took FMLA, a law that allows you to take up to 12 weeks off, unpaid, for health reasons and have a guaranteed job you could come back to. It is actually paid for bigger companies, but if a company has under 50 employees, which mine did, no pay.

12 weeks went by and I just had to end up quitting. What else could I do? I was glad because I hated that job and I was able to put my very bullied daughter into online school and supervise her, so there were good sides, but we're down to a single income now with ever-mounting medical debt despite having "good" insurance.

Anyway, back to the medical situation! I had a HIDA scan. That tests for gallbladder issues. The HIDA scan suggested that might be a problem. So, again, hey, a solution! I had my gallbladder out just before Christmas. It's a simple surgery and you can recover from it with almost no trouble because the gallbladder can be removed like the appendix. I was hoping I'd wake up hungry. No such luck and my gallbladder was healthy.

At this point, most of the doctors basically threw up their hands and said they didn't know what to do and I applied to go to the Mayo Clinic. For those of you unfamiliar, it's one of the best hospitals in the country and it specializes in cases no one can figure out. Sort of a real-life House situation except with lots of doctors instead of one asshole. They accepted me and I go on March 22nd. I was going to have to do a GoFundMe for the trip, but my 81-year-old mother, who is relatively well-off, said she would go with me to be an advocate and take notes and also pay for an AirBnB. I don't really want to drive 8 hours up to Minnesota with a semi-crazy old lady, but at least I'm saving money.

Obviously, it's been very hard on my family. On top of general worrying about me, I can't go out to eat with my wife and daughter because I'm concerned I won't be able to handle a restaurant's smell. I can't even get them fast food. My daughter wanted a meatball sub and I had to tell her I couldn't get it for her because I couldn't handle going inside and I couldn't handle the smell as she drove it home (my wife got it for her later, but I hate telling her I can't get her food). On top of that, I have to request they turn the kitchen fan on when they eat or I won't be able to come back into the house. I usually go to my mother-in-laws' house on Christmas, but I couldn't because there would be a whole bunch of food there.

I wish I could eat. So badly. For so many reasons. I keep seeing food ads and think of how good it would be to have them (in an abstract sense, I wouldn't be able to eat them if they were in front of me). A Nepali restaurant opened in town. I have never had Nepali food, but I love Indian food and I love Tibetan food and Nepal is between them. I drive by it all the time wishing I could have just a tiny bit.

The weirdest part? I feel fine almost all the time. I have very little energy obviously (I do try to exercise), and there's the heaving part, but I don't really feel sick most of the time. Also, I can brag that for the first time in my life I'm just 5 pounds above my BMI ideal weight of 180 pounds. Before I got sick, I weighed 260 pounds. Also, I don't have high cholesterol or high blood pressure anymore, so I guess there's a silver lining? Buying a whole bunch of new pants because none of the old ones fit anymore kind of sucked though.

Anyway, that's my story. It's six months since I've eaten today. My "diet" consists of- Tea in the morning, Ensure four times a day for the nutrition, Gatorade twice a day for the electrolytes, V8 twice a day for the fiber (I have to drink it while holding my nose), and as a treat, either root beer at home or a chai latte out somewhere. Also, I might have gotten the order of things wrong, sorry. There's been so much that I've had to go through.

Six months. I'm going to celebrate by not eating some cake.

Edit: Hooray having a terrible memory too, my mother reminded me this morning that I go on March 26th.

To me it feels like a matured Reddit. (At least most of the time 🙃)

So much work I underestimated it. Currently Petting dry wall on the walls, just looking at what is still not done yet and thinking about all the finishing with filling up the walls, screws, sanding, painting and then the floor has to be Sand and put in snd doors.

Im dead til I make this house livable. The only good thing is I have no rent costs til its done and live at my parents house

It's fucking delicious, that's for sure. A perfect addition of saltiness. And it has to be the tiniest bit, anything more is overpowering.

Am I the only weirdo who enjoys this?

I'm stuck on this personally. I love my manual, I have a tiny little Mazda 2 and I have driven that thing absolutely everywhere because I can control it better than any automatic I've ever driven. But I've been casually looking for a new car and I'd love to have an electric, but I don't want to lose that level of control and everything I love about a manual.

What do you all think? What's your take?

So, what are you guys up to?