saltnotsugar

Have you been given jewelry that had some wackadoodle magical properties? Call the law offices of Gandalf and Gandalf and don’t settle for less than you deserve!

Guys! Look at this great prop I found in my sister’s nightstand!

I once opened for the Melvins and had a killer fire extinguisher solo. I was warned not to return.

Rizzo’s discount burial shredding! You dead ‘em, we shred ‘em.

I would love a show where famous chefs have to microwave cheap meals to perfection with intense music in the background.

It is grand to live in the age where the secrets of the pizza lords are passed as easily as the wind blows into the trees.

Made me livin changin the RAM oil on laptops in Silicon Valley.

In prison.

Butthole destroyed.

Make check on coin.

Massive loss in value.

No.

It’s some form of elvish.

“The language is that of Mordor, specifically the legal team giving the terms and conditions, Frodo.”

Relatable

Helicopter killing go cart.

I only use my programming for good. For instance Bat_Count.exe lets the user enter a number and then the Count from sesame street will count to this number and say “Ah ah ah!” at the end.