ncc21166

Oh, I've been in the closet for 11 years. I've had a LONG time to do my research. The problem is that the clinic I'm seeing is being overly cautious, and I don't want to end-run them to DIY because I need them for lots of other things, some related and some not. They put me on 50mg spironolactone, which I guess did the job. Almost. T is at 70ng/dl. Since I'm in the US, cypro isn't an option and the clinic is paranoid and told me they won't prescribe anything with a side effect of "death" listed, even though you and I both know that's infinitesimally small a chance and bigger for cis-women than us. So that means no bicalutamide.

I'm also unfortunately on 4mg oral estradiol tablets. They don't want to make ANY changes until the 3 month mark, so my E2 is sitting at 70pg/ml. The clinic seems happy with this. I'm beside myself at how low it is. I have asked to move to intramuscular estradiol valerate at monotherapy dosages, but they keep pushing back. My age likely doesn't help, though. I'm over the hill. And fairly lean, since I run marathons and cycle centuries. So there isn't a lot of fat to redistribute, but I should still feel the pain and sensitivity. It's frustrating.

When I had that model, I just forced it to be function keys permanently. I spend a lot of time with strange terminal programs, so Fkeys were important. Think "managing solaris devices" or "ancient ISP hardware used via serial terminal".

I'm 7 weeks in to HRT and have no changes yet. How? How do you already have this feeling? I'm glad you're euphoric. I'm just jealous.

Arch isn't necessarily about minimalism. It's about the distro not doing things for you and mostly leaving the defaults the way the upstream developers intended. So you DIY most of your distro, but you do it exactly the way you want. I very much do the exact same thing you just did for every work-issued macbook I've gotten in the past 10 years. Excepting, of course, the current one because the M3 isn't really usable in linux! Package groups are great for bigger things like DEs because they're developed together, so you get the entire experience the way the devs intended it. I think the only really big thing that's broken for KDE is Discovery, because pacman support isn't great there. It works fine for flatpack and others, though. Use it the way you want to!

mrrp

As a sort-of developer myself (mostly network automation tools and backend things), it's not something I'd really share publicly. Not because of shame, or even worries of safety. Just because I don't really share my code or projects with the public anymore. I haven't worked on open source software in a long time. I wish I still could, but it's not in the cards for me. Most of my "a bit idle" time has unfortunately gone into obsession over "perfecting" my transition. We'll see if therapy helps there, but I honestly think it would just shift to life planning endeavors instead.

That said, maybe look at this with a different lens: while it would be good to band together and write our own things, software doesn't have a gender. Find projects that help with things you believe are worth doing. Sometimes it's tools to help the transgender community directly (https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender could use some updating here!) and sometimes it's just making the world a better place for humans to be kind and helpful to each other.

I get the desire for community, though. I've posted about this myself, but it's very difficult to find people that "get it" who aren't already trans or questioning. I'd love a circle of friends to relate with. The software world can be pretty socially closed off, sometimes!

Welcome to the fold, sister 🐧🧦⚧️

Whatever you do, please get a first aid kit and learn how to use it (and rotate the perishables!). I understand the point here is to defend yourself, but keeping yourself and others from losing their lives to injury is just as important.

After viewing and funeral shenanigans of having to be dead named and referred to as "son in law" and "husband" all weekend, I would welcome this. I think I may just visit the specialty ice cream shop and suggest it for dinner to my spouse instead of normal food.

Hey, I know this feeling. Let it pass. Dwelling here leads to bad places that nobody should have to be in. You deserve love and peace, just as much as anyone else. Please don't be a statistic! If you need help, reach out! DMs are fine here. Call the Trevor Project if you're still feeling this way. It hurts me worse than dysphoria to see stories like yours. They're valid feelings and they're real, but they stem from external factors. Push them away and spend some time thinking about the you that you love 💖

;{ You don't have to stop here. Pause, collect yourself, and keep telling your story!

Transfemme here, and I just wanted to say that anyone who refuses to accept you in a queer space would be a hypocrite. You're valid being you, whatever you happen to be feeling that day! A good friend of mine has an afab child who realized they were non-binary in early high school. They're in college now and doing just fine, though still exploring what that means to them. Just like we never stop learning our whole lives, I don't think we ever stop discovering things about our own selves, either. I didn't come out until I was 40, and there's a long road ahead of me to find out just how far down the femme road I need to go to feel right, too. Just hang in there and be the you that feels right! That's valid and should always be accepted!

Listen I tried. I actually went to what I thought was going to be my therapy appointment and all I got was: "I'm not a therapist. This is a consultation. You should se a therapist, though! Here's a list; see if any of them are covered by your insurance. And I have no idea if any of them are trans-affirming". So yeah, I tried to do something, but ended up doing nothing. I'm still a dysfunctional bitch, though.