ThatFembyWho

joined 1 year ago
[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Oh I wiggle all the time. Mostly when I'm sitting and thinking happy thoughts. It can be shoulder wiggles, torso wiggles, or booty wiggles. My partner thinks it's cute, which is positive feedback to continue :)

My friend at work, who says she/they might be enby, also wiggles sometimes when sitting. More of a head and shoulders wiggle. It's adorable <3 I miss having the same lunch break as her, it was fun to put her in a good mood and watch her wiggle.

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 7 months ago

Well you know, sometimes you meet people and there's a chemistry, and you're maybe not sure what kind it is.

Before I can advance my interest, I discover they're off the market anyway. More friendzoning than formal rejection. Not that I mind having friends.

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Ahahaha me (Shy Girl) saving up years' worth of confidence to overcome anxiety, but waste it ALL on someone who mentions their s/o 30 seconds into the conversation. Every. Single. Time x.X

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I think what is really happening is seeing or discussing the fake cornucopia version implants that false "memory" in our minds, because it seems so appropriate. It would almost be a better logo, IMO.

But I can't say that I would have mentioned a cornucopia associated with the brand before seeing this post. Very interesting psychological phenomenon none the less.

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Any gender you like as long as it's gay <3

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 8 months ago (4 children)

...what exactly is the world record?

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone -1 points 8 months ago

But isn't being forced to pay taxes a form of extermination?!

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 8 months ago

For real you have glorious hair. Like take one big handful of it... that's more than all the hair on my head combined.

There's a lot of potential there.

I also part my hair in the middle by nature, with it falling equally on both sides. I found that I can achieve some really interesting, different looks by side parting, and optionally pinning back the side. Kind of a variation on an "undercut" but I don't really wanna shave off my hair! Braiding seems to be the "trendy" way to do this, but idk how to braid my hair yet.

You could get some hair ties and experiment with pony tail(s) and partitioning your hair in interesting ways. The way I look at this, there are no rules actually when it comes to your style. How people create new trends is just that, breaking existing rules. Goth can overlap with many other styles, western, punk, cyber, industrial, even pastel goths are a thing!

I think the main difference between your selfies is in #1 you are looking down at the camera, in #2 you are looking up. Perspective difference changes the perceived shape of your face. I'm exactly the same way; my favorite selfies are at an angle from above. In fact that's a super common way to take selfies if you ever notice.

Now, why does that matter?

No seriously lol. Why does it matter how you look in selfies. Honey you wanna be your gorgeous self all the time. Nobody is going to see you as a selfie, except on the internet.

So get yourself a lighted vanity if you don't already have one. Put it somewhere comfortable and take a seat (mine is on the kitchen table). This is how you're going to work on your look.

I have had tremendous success with eyeliner. You want a goth look? Eye makeup is a big key to that. My partner gave me their "pencil" which is actually like a cream or something but in shape of a pencil. This tutorial helped me greatly: https://www.wikihow.com/Apply-Eyeliner

As you can see, there are many different types of eyeliner. You don't need anything super fancy or expensive to start.

The other key part is lipstick, dark colors are kinda standard for goth looks. I got a dark purple which is OK... but I think I'll pick a more neutral color next time.

In fact I got a cheap "all-in-one" makeup set with gel eyeliner, blush, eye shadow and lip tint in it. None of it is great, but perfect for learning technique and finding your best colors! I brought my own brush set, a good set helps.

other basic supplies you need: cotton balls, makeup remover wipes, q-tips.

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I have to admit, one of my first emotional responses was anger. I want vengeance. When will we see the day the bullies, abusers, murderers, and their enablers receive justice?

Not civilized "justice" in court rooms, on pieces of paper, with well-dressed men and women arguing politely over legal arcana.

Blood for blood. There should be a mortal fear that if they harm one hair on our heads, something worse will happen to them by far.

Don't tell me this won't bring anyone back. Don't tell me to be better than our enemies. If you will assault someone over their skin color, gender, sexual orientation, you don't deserve the breath of life.

 

I guess most of us deal with this at some point:

The thought occurred to me, I want to take self-defense classes. So I'm thinking, well those may be segregated by gender, so I'll just join the men's group to avoid making a scene, stirring up tensions. Even though my body, mannerisms, clothing, is indicative of a woman. I don't pass all the time, but I'm getting much closer.

But I was willing to be casually misgendered, to be othered, to accept less than what I'm fighting for every day (recognition, equality), so other people wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

How is that OK?

I feel like it's a common issue for all minorities. Stay out of the way, try to fit in, deny your identity, settle for less. You'll be safe, you'll survive. For what?

Is this the reality I'm risking everything for?

When I vacationed with my partner, I deliberately chose porta-potties and unisex bathrooms. Nobody told me too, I wasn't forced. But what if a "Karen" blew up at me and caused a scene in the women's bathroom? It could ruin my whole day, it could put me in danger...

When do I stop settling for less than my true identity, when do I stop giving in to internalized transphobia?

When do we stop deferring to the hypothetical concerns of other people, and assert our own rights and concerns?

It's funny because transphobes like to portray us all as radical activists who enjoy making scenes and partake in unhinged rants over pronouns or some shit.

Yet every trans person I have ever met is gentle, often frightened as hell, and goes out of their way to avoid triggering the phobes or causing a scene -- even at the expense of intense dysphoria, self-misgendering, accepting discrimination

Mostly? We want to be invisible, ignored, free to live in peace.

I don't want to be the trans woman among men, or the trans woman among women. I simply want to be a woman. Not othered, not segregated, not pitied, not patronized, not accommodated.

I can't control what other people think, but I can control my own thoughts and actions. Maybe we can't achieve equality until we think and act like equals, and refuse to accept anything less.

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Basically yes. Enby here, anyone who finds me attractive is instantly, irrevocably, and fabulously gay.

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 9 months ago

Internet in 2024 (for me):

  1. Service unavailable in your country (VPN)
  2. Confirm you're a human (VPN)
  3. Blank page (noscript)
  4. Obscure error (fingerprint / cookie blocking)
  5. Page not found (https required)

The percentage of websites that "just work" with privacy measures in place is depressingly small.

[–] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 10 months ago (2 children)

curve this waves fairphone

only because pinephones are barely usable and librems insanely priced! Or you can damn well believe I'd have a native linux phone.

1
First electrolysis session! (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 

One of my biggest causes of dysphoria right now is facial hair. I hate shaving, and unfortunately HRT doesn't help reduce existing hair.

My partner helped me find a great trans-friendly, local electrologist.

I set up a consultation and agreed to an initial 15 minute session after being satisfied with the consultation. The technician is very experienced, board certified, and professional.

Unfortunately I wasn't expecting to have my first session, so I hadn't taken pain killers or used any topical numbing agents. So I got the full experience of the pain. Not recommended.

I have a high pain tolerance, but it really does hurt. It made my whole body twitch at times. Thankfully it is only a quick sharp sting, then you feel nothing. At least for a second or two.

The process is that a tiny sterile probe is inserted down the hair shaft to the base of the follicle, and applies an electrical shock to cauterize the blood vessel feeding it, then the hair is removed. Because the hairs are always in different growth stages that take about 4-6 weeks to complete, the treatment is repeated throughout the year to catch them all.

My technician is very thorough about aftercare. I was recommended a soothing lavender and tea tree oil balm, and aloe vera gel. It feels wonderful. Have to remember to not spend too much time in the sun, to wear sunscreen, and stay hydrated.

All in all it wasn't too bad and totally worth never having beard shadow or shaving again. Going back next week for a 30 minute session, then 45 minutes after that. She estimates it won't take too long, due to how naturally sparse my hair is.

Another box getting checked off my transition list <3

1
How to talk to trans people (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 

...Pro tip: like you would anybody else! LOL

People get so awkward and trip all over themselves just because I have a name and pronouns. I don't put any pressure on them; if they get it right, I'm delighted (90% of the time this only involves... reading). If not, I keep my disappointment tucked away inside.

But people will get all mixed up or overthink it on their own. Their reaction makes me feel like I'm guilty of something when they get so flustered. They really don't need to apologize if making an honest mistake. I'm not going to fly off the rails over it. I struggle with remembering names, myself.

Idk does anyone else experience this? Had a medical appointment today, and she was like "Miss... Mr... Miss X." Or she had been using the right name all morning, but got confused at one point rapidly alternating between my legal and chosen names.

 

And you know what? They were right. My partner, trans elders, and levelheaded allies.

It's so easy to be impatient when you first realize. Nothing can happen fast enough, and you want all the things, all at once. You want to be today where others are who have lived for decades to get there.

2.5 years into my transition it's occurring to me just how much progress I've made, even over the last few months. My body is developing rapidly, but I'm also gaining confidence to show the world who I really am.

More people are using my name and pronouns every day, I'm wearing more comfortable clothes and I no longer obsess about whether anyone will notice. Male-failing is an almost daily occurrence. I'm developing my own authentic fem styles.

I have a looooong way to go yet, but I'm excited for what the future might bring. My goals are finally beginning to seem attainable.

Hopefully those of you who haven't reached that point yet, and those going through a difficult time, can take solace in my little story about passing through into better times. Keep your head up, work toward your goals, and most of all be patient. It might take years, it might take a decade, but eventually you'll realize it was worth it.

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