Susaga

joined 1 year ago
[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 hours ago

Agloe, NY, was a fake town designed as a copyright trap on a map, but then a general store was built on that spot. When a company was caught stealing the map, they used the general store as proof the town actually existed.

In Iceland in 2010, a group of comedians made a joke political party called the Best Party, with a platform that amateurs can't mess up more than the pros. They won the mayoral election.

There's a youtube video about how to pretend you know how to play guitar, which suggests you learn just four chords and cycle between them. The comments noted that this is just a beginners guide to actually knowing how to play guitar.

George Lazenby lied on his CV when he auditioned for James Bond. When he confessed this to the director, the director pointed out how he had already convinced an audience with his performance. By acting like an actor, he had shown his ability to act.

The line between pretending and doing is thin, and you learn by doing, so you can learn by pretending to do. If it's a good enough fake, it may as well be real.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Do you fuck by lying unconscious for 8 hours? Your stamina is astounding, but you need to be a little more active.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

I hope they're living their best life. I hope they see how far their writing has come, and feel at least a little pride at how much of an impact their work has had.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

The problem with the fediverse is that not enough people get how it works, so they don't use it, so there's not enough content, so there's less incentive to use it. The benefits of the fediverse are that you can't exploit and ruin something for everyone if there's an alternative readily available for them to use instead, and the fediverse is BUILT on those alternatives.

The problem with web3 is it does nothing practical enough to justify its existence. The only people who found a use case for it just used it like stock shares, being something worthless that might be valuable if enough time passes. Calling it an alternative to money is absurdly naive at best, manipulative at worst.

Imagine if you had a boss who told you they would only pay you in company stock, and tried to say that it's better than being paid money. That's what this is.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (5 children)

No, like you're part of some tech-bro cult. Which is worse, I will point out. Rejection of the current status quo doesn't mean we want a WORSE status quo.

And we already have plenty of people in the current establishment who want to pay their employees with something other than actual money. We call those people scumbags. At least being paid in exposure isn't bad for the environment.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 61 points 6 days ago (1 children)

"Fs in the chat" -> "Subjects, please join me in mourning"

"Thanks for the dono" -> "Your tithe is greatly appreciated"

"We're going into subs only mode" -> "You may only speak if you are of the proper station"

Ironically, "we just got raided" can be said in both instances, but means different things.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

A little sad they skipped over the actual confession, and the end credits had me panic for a second.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wrote it on a pc, then looked later using Jerboa and saw what you saw. Definitely a Jerboa issue.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 64 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

Look, everyone knows that was much better than because it was and more . Just look at how much became! They completely ruined it.

Fingers crossed this gets fixed in .

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ever heard of hook and loop fasteners? The Velcro company would really like it if you called it hook and loop fasteners.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Goblins have language and culture and religion, and that all requires the ability to think, feel and grow. Making them evil means that either your worldbuilding is nonsense or you've made a thinking, feeling group of people inherently evil from birth. If you want a group that doesn't think, feel or grow, then do what I said in the first place and use undead.

Stop saying it's an evil deity doing these things. It's just you. You're doing these things. Don't be a coward.

Are you seriously trying to justify Boblin the Goblin being evil because of the Lich from Adventure time? One is the cosmic manifestation of the death of all things, and the other is short and green. That's not remotely the same.

And most objectively evil villains in fiction are, I shall point out, human. Nothing to do with their species. A group of human bandits and a group of goblin bandits are equally evil. And at no point have you given any explanation as to why that wouldn't be the case.

Either answer the fucking question or shut the fuck up.

Edit: It would appear they chose to shut the fuck up. I would have preferred they answer the question, but this is acceptable.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

No, sorry, that still doesn't answer my question.

Cosmically controlled goblins are doing the same thing as bandits, but the bandits made the choice to do evil things and the goblins didn't get a chance to refuse. Surely, the people choosing to do evil are worse than those forced to do evil, right? So why are bandits better than goblins?

The suggestions you gave fall kinda flat to me, really. No matter what the in-universe reason is, the DM made the universe. "It's what my character would do" doesn't excuse bad behaviour, and neither does "it's what my gods decided." You're the one who made them do that. You're the one that decided an entire culture of thinking, feeling people are born objectively evil and can be killed en masse. And that's fucked up.

 

They couldn't see that well.

2
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/jokes@lemmy.world
 

The genie appears before him and declares "I am a powerful genie! Due to budget cuts, I will only be granting one wish, but you can wish for anything you desire and I shall make it come true!"

The farmer wastes no time. "My neighbour, Peter, was once as poor as me. One day, he received a cow as a gift, and he began to sell the milk. Suddenly, he is earning twice as much. He could afford to fix the roof, he bought new clothes, and he even took a day off to have wild sex with his wife. That cow made his life so much better than it was before."

The genie nods. "I see. So, your wish is..."

"Kill his cow."

 

He couldn't see that well.

 

Real person, fictional character, or even just hypothetical: I wanna hear it!

1
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/jokes@lemmy.world
 

There are only two survivors, both of whom are Christian men. They start walking, hoping to find civilisation and a source of food and water. Each sand dune is hell, but they push themselves forward to climb over it. Days pass and their thirst aches their throats, but they keep walking. Finally, their journey pays off, and a village comes into view.

One of the men turns to the other and says "look, we're in a muslim country, and it's a desperate situation. I say we pretend to be muslim. They'll take better care of us for it."

The other man looks aghast. "What? No! I'm a Christian and proud! I have nothing to be afraid of."

As dawn breaks and their legs are about to drop, the men reach the village. A man spots the pair and approaches them, wearing a robe, an imama, and sporting a lengthy beard. "Who are you?"

"I'm Muhammed" says the first man, his real name Peter.

"I'm John" says the second man.

The muslim man takes John by the shoulder, pulling him into the village. "It must have been a long walk, you must be tired. Please, we have plenty of food and water, and there should be a bed for you somewhere."

Then he turns to Peter and opens his arms wide, a warm smile on his face. "Salaam, Muhammed! Happy Ramadan!"

 

An investment banker is looking to hire a new secretary, and has narrowed down his options to three women. While most people in his position would want her to sit and look pretty, he wanted someone dependable. He wanted someone who could offer him good advice when he needed it, and might even reach a position like him in the future.

To this end, he offered each woman a test. He gave each one £10,000 and told them to invest it. After a month, they would return the money to him, and this would serve as an interview.

The first woman invested in hot new stocks, hoping one of them would pay off. Sadly, it proved to be too much of a risk. By the end of the month, she was only able to pay him back £2,000, having lost £8,000.

The second woman invested in stable businesses with gradual growth, getting a steady return per day. By the end of the month, she gave the banker £1000 more than she had been given to begin with.

The third woman invested and pulled her money like a machine, shorting companies and spreading rumours to boost her profits. While she had in excess of £17,000 by the end of the month, she only returned £10,000 to the banker, arguing that everything else was not part of the deal.

Once the test concluded, the banker instantly made up his mind, and hired the woman with the biggest chest.

 

Silly or serious, big or small, I wanna see them!

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