Nobody wants a dirty tax evader for a child
this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
29 points (100.0% liked)
Greentext
3947 readers
880 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
Honestly, probably the best outcome.
I was with my partner at their parents’ house years ago and we were naked and had tails in our asses. I was changing the input on the TV from their bed, ass towards the door, when their dad came in. Excitedly, about to tell us about something he was psyched about like “HEY SO I JUS—“
Immediately backed out and closed the door softly. We came out ten minutes later, washed our hands, and walked into the living room where he was reading a book. He says “how’s it going!” and we’re like “Great!” and he goes back to reading.
I think he put that one in the vault.
Wonder what their parents were doing for an hour.
conservatives: crying, then praying.
liberals: laughing, then, worrying (if they live in the crappy parts of the country that persecute lgbtq folk)
Conservatives: crying, then praying
Liberals: crying, then making a AITA post on reddit
It awakened something in them and they needed to rent a hotel room for a half hour.
The kind of kink that awakens from my son talking like Fat Albert in a dress is beyond my imagination. The world is truly vast
Trying for a second kid because they clearly messed up with the first
OK, this one got me pretty good. But does anyone else come out with some weird shit when they're on their own? I do more and more as time goes on.
I pretend to speak in different languages. I give speeches as Mao Zedong, Hitler, Churchill, Kennedy, tv preachers, etc. I play with different high pitched Lincoln sounds and encourage the troops. I’ve encouraged ships full of pirates to prepare for Spanish ships and all the treasure that awaits them. I’ve called back to Houston to describe the moons of Jupiter. I’ve recorded my farewell to my family as the ship runs out of oxygen. I’ve been Napoleon just before a large battle, Alexander making promises to the Persians.
There might be something wrong with me.
One of the most embarrassing moments of my life was when I was alone at work for hours, very slow day. I started doing my best fake German Hitler impression and oh boy, the SS were seigin’ and heilin’. We were losing the war. Out of nowhere an old dude came walking out of the bathroom. He nodded at me with a look like he was embarrassed for my ancestors and descendants, I nodded at him with the reddest face on the planet. Took me months to get over that one. Fortunately he had an out of state tag and I haven’t seen him since. I hope I never see him again.
out of state tag
What is this in your world, like a Polish dog collar???
I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t a local. He was from the other side of the country. I guess I’m googling polish dog collar.
Edit:
Nope, don’t get it.
Just made it up. Like what would Hitler be euphemistically referring to as an “out-of-state tag”.
A swing. And a miss. On my part.
Good effort though. Fun fact, Germany itself has states, so you don't need to leave Germany to go to a different state.