this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Funny answer: their dog won't let them leave the room if they smell too much.

Slightly serious answer: bidets are magic.

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If there were bidets everywhere, I'd be willing to leave my cave more often.

[–] JeSuisUnHombre@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Using a public bidet sounds like an awful idea.

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's easier than waddling over to the sink and fitting my ass in there.

[–] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago

This is why I'm banned from Sea World.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

But you don't make as many friends.

[–] SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Have you seen Perfect Days?

[–] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Go live in Japan. Literally bidets everywhere even in public places. My butt had never been so consistently clean.

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I did for a year. Squat toilets in public places.

[–] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I only saw the squat toilets in more remote places but anywhere in the cities had bidets.

I saw them in schools, train stations, parks, etc., all over Hiroshima city.

[–] EvacuateSoul@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

That's like evil Skittles

[–] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

The lick test.

[–] invisiblegorilla@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

There's an app where you can have a seeing person help you. I think its meant for shopping and navigating places but I don't see why they couldn't be used as paper checkers

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Are you thinking of Zoom/Teams?

Bemyeyes.com

[–] ShunkW@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

How can you not tell by feel?

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 13 points 1 month ago

They smell the paper.

Ever since I learned this I started doing it too, because it’s more effective than visual inspection alone.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If the shit tickets don’t stick to the wall the asshole isn’t poopy anymore.

[–] Birch@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is this the answer to the mystery of the state of public bathrooms?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Yes, it's all blind people's fault.

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

I got this far down the thread before stifling a laugh at work. Well done.

[–] Summzashi@lemmy.one 11 points 1 month ago

This whole thread is nothing but jokes. The real answer is they wipe their butthole with their finger and then press their fingers together to feel if it's at all sticky.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Get yourself a travel bidet <$20 on Amazon, and start with that. You use warm tap water from your commode.

No installation, but a bit of practice.

My proctologist ranted about general bad wiping habits in the US that damage the hemorrhoid tissue over time. Don't spend your life in sin and misery as I have in the House of the Rising Sun, and stick to only dabbing with bathroom tissue, and use bidets to do the heavy cleaning.

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Even people with functioning eyes miss some sometimes.

[–] jbk@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I personally don't ever have to look and I'm glad I don't have to

[–] HereIAm@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

You sound more confident than you maybe should :P

[–] sc2pirate@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Lot of jokes here, my brother repeatedly has told me he is disgusted by the fact that we look at toilet paper to tell if we are clean. Granted he would have to get the TP very close to his face to be able to see anything. He says he just wipes until he is clean. Not an exciting answer, but that's what I got.

[–] kyle@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago

Years ago, I saw this question and someone commented on Reddit that they bring wet wipes with them when they go out.

[–] MP3Martin@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago
[–] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] NoSpotOfGround@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

That video never really answers the question...

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Bidet no need to look or wipe.

[–] Tramort@programming.dev -1 points 1 month ago (4 children)

How often do you visually check your butthole when wiping?

We are all blind in the bathroom, my friend.

[–] beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

This. Who doesn't?

[–] Firoaren@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago

??? Wtf people, check yo ass, jesus

Fuckin christ, dude. Get some hygiene.

[–] brb@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You check the paper, not your butthole

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Please speak for yourself.

[–] brb@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

Huh? How do you check it if not with the paper?

[–] FmbyMF@lemmy.world -2 points 1 month ago

They insert a finger to see if there's any more mush.