this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 119 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Yeah that's why you wash things.

Every man's hand you've ever touched has had a dick in it. Every woman's hand you've touched has been in a vagina.

[–] dance_ninja@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago
[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 21 points 1 week ago

And every hand has been used to wipe an ass.

[–] DeathsEmbrace@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What if you’re born quadriplegic does it still count?

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Someone would've touched you with their hands so by proxy you've been touched by a person who's had their hands on some kind of genetalia

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[–] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 90 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I mean my hand has touched way more disgusting things and yet I still eat with it. Seems a little too silly.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!

[–] AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago
[–] FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

LISTEN! HEAR ME AND OBEY! A FOUL DARKNESS HAS SEEPED INTO MY TEMPLE!

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I eat with my hands as well 👍

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

The chances you and I have touched the same thing at least once means I probably also eat with your hands.

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[–] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 62 points 1 week ago

I live in Britain.

All our mouths are like that.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 48 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Yeah? And those forks have also been washed with soap, killing the majority, if not all, of the bacteria present.

What's your point?

[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 33 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

and the dishwasher runs at scalding temps for extended periods of time... if you've ever worked in a restaurant you know what im talking about. those machines are no joke.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

As a joke, we cooked a chicken in one, one time. Basically high temperature sous vide, lol.

[–] cyberfae@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What was the the result? Did it cook it through?

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

After about 10 cycles it was up to temp. We didn't eat it, we weren't certain that the bag didn't leak, and didn't want to eat the soap

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[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

IIRC, restaurant machines are required to run at sanitization temperatures. Likely because of their extremely short run cycle.

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 26 points 1 week ago (4 children)

The air you're breathing has also been inside this person.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Joke's on you, I don't breathe.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Earth has been around for 4.5 billion years. For 4.3 billion years life has existed.

That is, at minimum, 4 billion years of animal farts we're breathing in with every... Single... Breath...

[–] AnyOldName3@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't think bacterial excretions count as farts, so it's probably more like 800 million years worth of farts as that's when animals started existing.

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 6 days ago

We're all star farts. I guess it's a matter of who cMe first, the chicken or the fart.

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[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

The point is that the fork has been traumatised and it transfers that trauma to your food by the magic of homeopathy or something.

[–] Thebular@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Better yet, they're sent through dishwashers that heat the water crazy hot. FDA requirements dictate that the surface temperature of utensils in a commercial dishwasher must get up to 160°F. NSF requirements necessitate temps high enough to yield a log5 reduction in bacteria. Because of this, many commercial dishwashers get up to 180°F. They also use both soap and sanitizer. You don't have to worry about this if the restaurant is up to code.

Craziest part is they take like, 3 minutes start to finish.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 30 points 1 week ago
[–] smokebuddy@lemmy.today 30 points 1 week ago (2 children)

if this disturbs you, definitely don't think about that public bathroom toilet seat

[–] whome@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Or were your water comes from

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[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago

Why? Whose mouth has it been in?!

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago

Can say the same about the forks in my house.

Because I stole them from those restaurants.

[–] teije9@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 week ago (6 children)

the water you drink probably has been in Hitlers mouth and probably contains dinosaur piss. do you care about that?

I used to wash the dishes, at least in Europe it's standard to put all cutlery into 2 dishwashers and after that polish them with a very fine cloth. probably also in the us. (unless you don't tip of course)

[–] Thorry84@feddit.nl 11 points 1 week ago (4 children)

There is about 1,260,000,000,000,000,000,000 liter of water on Earth. Lets say Hitler was a pretty good water drinker and on average he ingested 4 liter of water (not just in drinking but also in food). Hitler lived for about 20,454 days and would have ingested about 81,816 of water. Lets say you are a water superfan and live to be 100 years old, then there is a chance of 0.001185845% you will drink some of the water that Hitler drunk at some point.

So it's probably not been in Hitlers mouth. Dinosaur piss I'll leave as an exercise for the reader.

[–] Kitathalla@lemy.lol 7 points 1 week ago

And let's not even get into whether the water molecule is the same two Hs and O that it was when it was in Hitler's mouth. Or, holy hell, what if his water became your muscles! Which, you know, is another possibility.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

This assumes that all the water on the planet has been evenly mixed in about 80 years since Hitler's death. I'd say if you're living in New Zealand you're likely a lot safer than if you have lived 80 years near germany. I assume the issue is less "Hitler rain" than Hitler ground water.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

But molecularly, not just by the liter, the air you breathe is guaranteed to contain a molecule of Caesar’s last breath from when he was stabbed with every breath we take. There’s way more air than water, so it stands to reason that not only are you drinking water that Hitler has drunk, you’re drinking Hitler’s pee! And Alex Trebek’s pee, I suppose.

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[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] 69420@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

That is the dishwasher.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 week ago

Bro your fork was burried in fucking rocks and dirt with this logic

[–] Zementid@feddit.nl 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Every Drop you drink is contaminated or once was,.. pee. And Mythbusters proofed that poop-dust is everywhere.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 9 points 1 week ago

Universal comprehensive healthcare would help.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago
[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

I'll take "things I wasn't actively considering and wished I could unlearn" for 1000, Alex.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 6 points 1 week ago

We go to different restaurants, you and me

[–] obscur_e@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago

stop all of you

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I would also want to go through a restaurant grade dishwasher after touching a mouth like that

[–] Crafter72@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago

Hmm... If we want to stretch something further... How do I know water that I drink is something new or clean instead of treated water, pure water or even perhaps dinosaur piss that has been filtered from underground soil long long time ago? 🤔😳

[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Hurm hurm hurm, at my favorite restaurant? Hah! Scum like that can't afford it!"

Or

"What? Naw, we use disposable forks" at my favorite restieraunts"

[–] jbk@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] ThomasCrappersGhost@feddit.uk 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Our teeth are healthy, just crooked and not bizarrely white.

Edit; changed a word.

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