this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2024
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And Finally...

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UFC strawweight Luana Pinheiro is still recovering from her last fight, which took place earlier this month. Aside from the normal bumps and bruises associated with entering the octagon, she suffered what can safely be referred to as a unique injury.

The Brazilian lost her fight at UFC Vegas 100 on November 9 against Gillian Robertson by unanimous decision and limped out of the octagon. She caught several 12-6 elbows, which have up until recently been illegal in the UFC, on her butt, including one directly to her anus.

The "disrespectful" shots, as Pinheiro refers to them as, took place at the end of the first-round with one of them, quite possibly the devastating elbow to the anus, taking place after the bell.

The elbows didn't just leave the 31-year-old with a limp either. Pinheiro is still, weeks later, having trouble sitting down, and she's not at all happy about it.

...

"I’m on strong meds. Today’s the last day I’ll take them. I can’t sit without a cushion or bend my back. I can’t exert much force because I feel it there. At first, I couldn’t walk, cough, or laugh properly. Sneezing was agony, I felt like I was dying, you know?, Pinheiro added.

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[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 41 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

When I was a kid at camp I went to bump a volleyball and absolutely slammed this chick right in the asshole. I still wake up at 2am some nights thinking about the shame.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Dude this anecdote in combo with your handle has me laughing in public thanks

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 weeks ago

I learned a lot about myself that day 😏

[–] johsny@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

This made me physically laugh, first time in a long time on the internet.

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

Relevant username

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 40 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] sik0fewl@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

You might need to see a proctologist about that..

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 23 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like a pain in the ass.

[–] Feelfold@lemm.ee 23 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Elbowed on the anus.

Getting ones elbow in an anus is a different sport.

[–] murmelade@lemmy.ml 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] apotheotic@beehaw.org 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That was so obviously intentional and malicious. Good lord.

[–] murmelade@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The ref touching her there was a warning accompanied by him yelling "Watch the spine!"

[–] apotheotic@beehaw.org 4 points 3 weeks ago

And yet, in she goes for a hard fuckin elbow blow. Absolutely horrible behaviour.

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Name a more iconic combo, I dare you.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Balls and knees

Incisors and earlobes

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Ngl, I caught a knee that way once and couldn't walk straight for a month. Also couldn't orgasm because it bruised my prostate too.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 25 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

A bruised prostate? That's Monkey Steals the Peach territory.

[–] Cypher@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

These old martial arts books would be excellent material for some D&D/Pathfinder feats

[–] Bananigans@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 weeks ago

The picture looks like it came from a parallel universe where Michael Scott runs a dojo and Jim Halpert got roped into being his exhibition sparring partner.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, it was pretty damn ridiculous lol. Sparring can get peachy sometimes lol

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Gave ya the ole' south samurai

[–] conciselyverbose@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

IDK how I feel about rules and what the specific rule change allowing it was. I definitely don't love shots that close to the groin.

But the sport is trying to hurt your opponent. Blows trying to wear them down are a deliberate part of it. I think there's a level of "if the rules allow it, it's fair game". Is an elbow to the butthole actually worse than a knee to the face that knocks you into next week? You're participating in a brutal sport.

[–] Shareni@programming.dev 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Idk about the specific rule, but I'm guessing it's got more to do with the downward elbow movement than the region being hit. Definitely a more dangerous attack, and it's also usually only possible if you're in an advantageous position.

As for the region being hit and rules, punching is legal in boxing, but that doesn't mean you can go speed bag on someone's balls.

[–] conciselyverbose@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My point is just that they have very carefully considered what actions are and aren't legal, and you're participating in a sport where one of the primary methods of victory is to do so much brain damage that their brain loses control of their body.

You can and should continue to attempt to evolve the rules within reason, but it doesn't seem right to attack someone for actions the rules allow for in the context of a sport where damage is the goal. It's inherently different than something like basketball, where you can try to hurt someone (or recklessly risk injury) in a way that isn't really a basketball play but isn't specifically regulated. In MMA, trying to hurt someone is one of the goals.

If the rules allow it, people will try to use it.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

very carefully considered

Dude. You really think this is the face of someone who carefully considers ANYTHING?

Before you answer, allow me to point out that he, the CEO and president of UFC, is also the leader of a slap fight league and is a fan of Rage Against the Machine and Donald Trump simultaneously.

You REALLY think that an organization run by him carefully considers the minutiae of every rule, always taking the safety of competitors seriously?

REALLY?

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 9 points 3 weeks ago

It feels like an unusual set of circumstances where you get the opportunity to make a downward elbow strike into an upwards facing anus. In fact, I presume you couldn't do this to a guy because you are too close to their junk.

And it raises further questions - is back bottom worse than front bottom? I'd imagine a blow to the taint isn't a walk in the park either.

Can you knock someone out doing this? My Dad slipped going down stairs and landed on his tail bone, knocking him straight out.

[–] Zip2@feddit.uk 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sounds like someone didn’t get the right button combo for that Mortal Kombat finishing move.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Analingus!

Flawless Victory

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

sounds like a tailbone fracture or edema. that is gonna take about a year to fully recover, good luck.

[–] MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.dbzer0.com -5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Has she perhaps considered not fighting people? I'm sure her chances of anal elbows would reduce dramatically.

[–] somedev@aussie.zone 10 points 3 weeks ago

Its not a street fight. Rules are there to make it a fair fight, and protect them from permanent damage in order to continue fighting.