this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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I literally cannot think of a better punchline

Edit: See it for yourself

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[–] Shady_Shiroe@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

In a void, anything can the "The most ____"

[–] bitwolf@sh.itjust.works 29 points 11 hours ago

Open? Sure, definitely open.... To vulnerabilities

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 26 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Sometimes the elites poke fun at us with obviously untrue, absurd statements. It's the equivalent of grabbing someone's fist, pushing it in their face, and saying "stop punching yourself".

[–] NeoToasty@kbin.melroy.org 3 points 8 hours ago

Them corporate elites really love tongue-in-cheek backhanded statements such as that.

[–] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 16 points 11 hours ago
[–] badbytes@lemmy.world 25 points 13 hours ago

Without walls, you wouldn't need windows.

[–] octopus_ink@lemmy.ml 43 points 15 hours ago
[–] Milk_Sheikh@lemm.ee 41 points 15 hours ago (7 children)

Open to what exactly..?

OPEN TO WHAT!?

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 15 points 11 hours ago

Infection, zero days, and data collection. TOTALLY open to those.

[–] RoyaltyInTraining@lemmy.world 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

They're probably talking about their customers opening their wallets

[–] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 8 hours ago

Nice profile picture!

[–] LifeLemons@lemmy.ml 37 points 15 hours ago

Open to advertisers

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 12 points 14 hours ago

Everyone but the user.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 2 points 12 hours ago

Our collective anuses.

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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 20 points 14 hours ago

What happens when you favor marketing over anything else?

You just lie, lie, lie, so many times that you actually believe your own shit

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 45 points 16 hours ago (5 children)

Didn't they call it "the most secure" a while ago?

Why are they allowed to openly lie?

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 15 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

In the case of marketing, it's just considered an opinion, mostly because if anything like that is ever put forth to a Judge, there's 900 odd ways to loophole it.

"We meant our assholes, your honor; as open as they come."

"We meant uhm... accepting."

[–] mynameisigglepiggle@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago

It could be called puffery. A claim so ridiculous that no reasonable person would consider it a claim

[–] ultranaut@lemmy.world 6 points 13 hours ago

Their official marketing is to call Windows 11 "the most secure version of Windows ever" or something along those lines. They definitely use "the most secure" in their marketing, but I think they do it in a way where it is only in reference to previous consumer versions of Windows if you actually parse out what is being said.

[–] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 13 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

A probably a bit political for this topic, but most companies are allowed to lie about most things. Only a few things that they're not allowed to lie about.

[–] PraiseTheSoup@lemm.ee 7 points 15 hours ago

and for those few things they're not allowed to lie about they pull out every trick in the book to come as close to lying as possible without outright doing it.

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[–] RoyaltyInTraining@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

Right after that slide the guy is talking about how Microsoft is "committed to remaining the most reliable and secure platform"...

Yeah they're all full of shit

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[–] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 30 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Most open to making money at the expense of security.

"“What they were telling me was counterintuitive to everything I’d heard at Microsoft about ‘customer first,’” Harris said. “Now they’re telling me it’s not ‘customer first,’ it’s actually ‘business first.’”

DiCola, Harris’ then-supervisor, told ProPublica the race to dominate the market for new and high-growth areas like the cloud drove the decisions of Microsoft’s product teams. “That is always like, ‘Do whatever it frickin’ takes to win because you have to win.’ Because if you don’t win, it’s much harder to win it back in the future. Customers tend to buy that product forever.”

[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 9 points 16 hours ago

Who in their right mind would ever think that any publicly traded company is consumer first? Their only goals are short term profit followed long term profits. Everything else is in pursuit of those two things.

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[–] RadioFreeArabia@lemmy.cafe 9 points 14 hours ago

Open for exploits and surveillance

[–] uebquauntbez@lemmy.world 8 points 14 hours ago

Open as in most leaks?

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 60 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

most open to user privacy violations?

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 21 points 20 hours ago (10 children)

Most open for frustration. Most open for ads. Most open for taking away control from the user.

Trust me, in a few years windows will be a monthly subscription, still filled with ads and no control over your own pc. Windows 10 will turn to a yearly subscription already. 30 dollars per year per pc for security updates. Office is already subscription based. Companies smell money, want to turn everything to a subscription.

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[–] xavier666@lemm.ee 7 points 16 hours ago

They are as open as OpenAI

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 278 points 1 day ago (4 children)

The most open ports

The most open CVEs

The most open complaint threads

Windows 🥇

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 6 points 14 hours ago

Open to exploitation

[–] asteriskeverything@lemmy.world 105 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Bitch I can't even find basic settings cuz they are so hidden in sub menus

I'm no programmer or UX designer but I can imagine what a mess things are on the dev side

[–] superkret 95 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (5 children)

As an admin it gets so much worse. Twice a year your admin portal gets renamed, redesigned, merged with and/or split from another one, or removed, and all those changes are done halfway.
Which means some settings are only on the old version and others only on the new. Then the old one is discontinued even though the new one doesn't have all its functions, yet.
So you completely rely on Powershell. But wait, there's 2 incompatible versions of it now.

I'm currently thinking about a career change, after reading in Microsoft's official documentation that you need to install the new version of Powershell, import the beta version of several commandlets and then run a long script provided by them, only to keep every user on your org from creating their own Teams teams.
And their newest feature is allowing every user to put in their credit card info and buy MS products on the company domain without running it by IT. It's called "self service", enabled by default, and you have to click on a slider to disable it individually for every. single. product. Microsoft. offers.

[–] themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works 32 points 22 hours ago (6 children)

Jesus Christ.

I've been doing linux admin and honestly I haven't been looking back. My breaking point was Microsoft pushing a kb that rebooted domain controllers for no reason.

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[–] mariusafa@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 19 hours ago (2 children)
[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 11 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)
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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 79 points 1 day ago

When one backdoor closes, three more open.

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 131 points 1 day ago (9 children)

unfucking believable... they are saying the quiet part out lout now

the least private operating system

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[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 19 hours ago

Windows, now without curtains!

[–] superkret 81 points 1 day ago
[–] Underwaterbob@lemm.ee 27 points 21 hours ago (13 children)

I had just hit the button on a recording session last night, and a fucking full page "ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE EOL OF WINDOWS 10!!" (paraphrased) popped up over my DAW. Yeah, I'm prepared alright Microsoft. I've got a flash drive with Linux ready to install if you keep pulling shit like this. It's going to suck because a lot of audio software developers are garbage with Linux support, but if Windows is just as garbage, there's no reason not to migrate.

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