this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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TIL lol

This is from a group chat I was in and a female friend asked the group

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[–] Catma@lemmy.world 105 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is brilliant.

[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 49 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I like that this man stretches the balls first, and then makes a transaction with a bartender.

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 weeks ago

And then poors the drink while holding the spread nut sack? Fucking talented fellow. A real catch.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 37 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I'm very open minded person, I think other peoples lifes are not my business and they can do whatever they want... BUT sometimes the youth make me feel like my grandma when she heard we could kiss someone without dating them. This post made me an old person horrified with the youth culture lol

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I can tell you that the person in the text is like 45yo swinger

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I feel like there might be a minimum age before being able to do this... I'm in my 40s and I don't think I could stretch out my 'bird bath' enough to pour a drink in it yet, except maybe on a particularly warm day...

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

omg! so it's OLD balls?!!! that's even worst lol

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[–] TIN@feddit.uk 32 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Why the straw though, what's wrong with lapping it up like a cat?

[–] zagaberoo@sopuli.xyz 12 points 3 weeks ago

I took it like she's tryna fuck but isn't that into the guy.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

She may end up with a dick in her eye.

[–] mrunicornman@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Well I don't want to end up with a straw in my butt!

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[–] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My life would have been better not havimg suun diS

[–] jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fella had a stroke right there

[–] mhague@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

He was monkey pawed out of existence as he typed

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[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Is this for like a seniors club? Don't feel like this is really very feasible unless you are over 50.

[–] Nutteman@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Ive always had more scrote than nut

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Then why isn't your name Scrotteman?

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[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 weeks ago

I used to make these in the bathtub all the time as a kid.

[–] 33550336@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Finally, something not depressing on Lemmy 🤝🏼

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[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)
[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 23 points 3 weeks ago

large, preferably yellow

lol

reads the rest

jfc I'm out

[–] StThicket@reddthat.com 20 points 3 weeks ago

That's enough internet for today. ಠ_ಠ

[–] thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

That's a bit much, I'll stick to the Rusty Trombone

[–] porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml 19 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah but people actually do that, as opposed to the edgy preteen nonsense above

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

For many years, my friends and I went to music festivals as The Rusty Trombone camp. We had a nice banner, people took photos of it. Unfortunately some asshole stole it one year when we weren't looking, and I don't have the patience to make another one. I'll post a picture if I find it.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's actually properly awful.

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[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 12 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

you don't wanna hear about elephant shower

[–] TIN@feddit.uk 6 points 3 weeks ago
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[–] pero@lemm.ee 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Wouldn't this like... Hurt??

[–] zagaberoo@sopuli.xyz 33 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I assume you don't have a scrotum to test for yourself, but oddly it wouldn't hurt at all.

The balls are ultra sensitive, but for some reason the scrote itself just laughs in the face of danger. You can pinch the shit out of it and feel nothing. Just pinching random arm skin hurts a lot quicker than pinching the ol ballsack. And stretching? Forget about it. That's the thing's whole job.

just keep the actual plumbing clear of the carnage

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't think they're asking about the stretching, but about having a puddle of alcohol on your scrotum. That was my first thought as well. Probably okay if it's wine, but not sure about something high proof.

[–] pero@lemm.ee 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I was actually asking about the stretching more so than having alcohol down there. Well, TIL

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Maybe if you do it with a Bloody Mary because of the ~~tobacco~~ Tobasco sauce or have a cut on your nuts.

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"Tobacco Sauce". That's what I'll start calling my morning loogies.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

Fucking autocorrect. I didn't even notice lol

[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Why does this need to be a thing? I know it is, but people, seriously. Get on with life.

[–] maxenmajs@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

I'm not into that kind of club scene but they seem to be enjoying their lives. I approve.

[–] Zoz@lemmy.today 5 points 3 weeks ago

Lemmy is full of the brightest armchair experts who know the correct path to change the world.

Lemmy is also this post and people commenting, “brilliant!”

[–] 4oreman@lemy.lol 4 points 3 weeks ago
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