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Matt Gaetz Tells Girlfriend He Can Attend Quinceañera After All (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her 15th birthday party after ending his bid for Attorney General, sources who attend Rickards High School confirm.

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[–] Facebones@reddthat.com 54 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Gaetz found out it wasn't "JV Dance" it was "JD Vance"

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Oh yooooou! I love this comment!

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Somebody was on reddit today

[–] Today@lemmy.world 73 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Sometimes the articles are just silly, but this one is worth the read!

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The cousins from Miami got me

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The "Gaetz made a post asking reddit how to make venmo payments private" was my favorite.

[–] spamellama@midwest.social 4 points 3 days ago

Because of course he would

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

I felt compelled to read it too. Haha.

Was not disappointed!

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 35 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So glad his schedule freed up

[–] radix@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He has time to finally go back and get another diploma. He can graduate high school again, right?

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

He’d probably prefer middle school

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I cannot wait for them to take over Infowars

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This one is a different satire newspaper, but yeah.

[–] jwt@programming.dev 8 points 3 days ago

This one can take over breitbart or oan.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Punks probably drooling in anticipation

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

TBF middle school volleyball finals take precedence