this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2024
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Technically, hippos don't swim. They run along the ground. So if you pick a deep enough body of water, you might still have a chance.
How’s their endurance?
Probably shit, like most mammals.
Edit: I looked it up, and they can maintain 29-40km/h charge for about 150m.
Whelp, I'm dead. GG hippo.
Ima be honest it can probably beat me on a bicycle as well.
Hippos can't swim. Too much bone density and mass.
You clearly never been hunted by a hippo on water
No they're right, they literally just run and jump underwater
Yet despite all these adaptations for life in the water, hippos can't swim—they can't even float! Their bodies are far too dense to float, so they move around by pushing off from the bottom of the river or simply walking along the riverbed in a slow-motion gallop, lightly touching the bottom with their toes, which are slightly webbed, like aquatic ballet dancers.
https://animals.sandiegozoo.org/animals/hippo
Honestly that's scarier to me
Maybe that's why they're "water horses", because they gallop underwater.
Yeah, not disputing that, but try to tell them while they’re eating your skull like it’s a watermelon snack
Edit: I know they’re herbivores. Doesn’t change the facts
Oh certainly, they'll fuck you up way more readily and viscerally than a horse ever would, I just always wondered about the logic of their name.
Yeah water horse sounds right
Man, i actually have in a little riverboat in kenya. It's absolutely terrifying. There were some other tourists on the boat who treated it like a circus show the hippo did for them. They cheered every time it jumped out of the water getting closer and closer. I was sitting very close to the boat captain, who was sweating bullets.
Are you required to "swim" in the traithlon, or do you have to do a distance across a body of water?
I thought "gun" was party of the tri.
You're thinking of biathlon, with cross country skiing and rifle.
I am having difficulty understanding whether it broke its own cycle and is now crying, or broke someone else's cycle and is now being intimidating.
Technically the first one (clown costume implies he's an entertainer), but I feel like either interpretation works
It's a penny farthing, so he probably fell off and it hurt really bad so now he's crying.
It’s actually not too easy to ride at 30km/h
Presumably the hippo also needs to ride a bike on that stretch, so they probably aren't managing their full running speed.
You're right, they're probably faster than their running speed given humans are faster on a bicycle than running too.
Maybe if you engineered some new pedal vehicle that is no longer really a bike, but hippos have neither the build nor the kind of gross motor skills (or prehensile forelimbs) needed to be successful as a high-level bicyclist.
Fucking racist.
racer.
This reads like Deep Thoughts... by Jack Handey
"If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope he likes enchiladas, because that’s what he’s getting."
Only if the hippo has a human bike. Hippo bike is different story.
Are these hippo sprint speeds, or real proper endurance speeds?
There's no way hippos have the long-distance endurance of humans. Pretty much everything is faster than humans at sprinting, but for endurance running, humans are next level. (Not me of course, I'm not really fit enough to be called human in this context.)
i dunno I just watched phelps vs shark and I think he beats a hippo