Imagine being the robber. I wouldn't even be able to contain myself from laughing
this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2024
7 points (100.0% liked)
Greentext
3951 readers
894 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
I would immediately interpret that as "I don't need a knife (to absolutely fuck you up right now)" based on the ~~oblivious~~ completely casual tone and lack of any fear.
Which if you know anything about martial arts is complete bullshit and doesn't exist. If the dude has a knife, there isn't a "badass" alive that survives without huge injury, and death most times. There is a reason the saying "the winner of a knife fight dies in the ambulance" exists.
Which is why you end the fight before it starts. The greentext got lucky but by reacting oddly enough to make the robber pause then leaving they did the right thing.
I've been in a similar situation except I punched the thief before they drew the knike and then left. The fact he was obviously high as a kite probably helped. Ultimately, a knife fight between two sober, focused opponents, who are intending to kill or seriously injure will likely end as you suggested, but it the aggressor isn't actually ready to fight the fight can be avoided, or ends up much less lethal.
Reminds me of a story a friend told me when I was traveling through South America.
My friend was walking home late at night and a guy from another country (forgot which, but it was obvious from his accent) asked him for money. This exchange of course happened in Spanish:
"I have an iron" "what does iron means in your country?" "by iron I mean knife" and pulls out a knife "oh, because here iron means this" and pulls out a gun.
Then the robber just ran away.
🎶 Big iron on his hiiiiip 🎶
Brazil
Spanish
At a bus stop, I was nearly beaten for wearing the wrong color shirt. This fella was told to hit someone wearing red and, in an attempt at easing their conscience, kept trying to find a reason to dislike me. Meanwhile, I’m just confused and apparently befriending him over our shared hatred of Russians and security guards and a mutual love of Islam. Unlike the greentext, my guy had the courtesy to at least apologize and explain the situation. Feels like a fever dream and I do not expect a single human being to ever believe me. There is no punchline, just my continued confusion. I still do not know how to feel about this.
I suppose you were the punchline
befriending him over our shared hatred of Russians
hrmmm
Do you have cousins? Both of us used to, and we were bitter. Given the current state of Russia, I’m still bitter but I can’t speak to their feelings now.