Just slap your knee and say,” welp, it’s getting late”
boardgames
Everything boardgames
Please stick to English for posts and comments
Most German response ever.
Open and honest communication. Just say that you're not interested in the game.
If the host gets passive-aggressive you could try to talk civilised about that. In case they don't show the necessary understanding or are difficult to talk to, they might not be the kind of acquaintance you would like to keep.
To clarify, say that BEFORE starting the game. If we're 3 hours into a 4 hour game and you bail because you're not interested, depending on how it affects the game lots of people would get pretty pissy.
So the people teaching the game with you should make sure everyone is aware of the game time and expectations, first of all. I love board games, but would be a bit irritated if someone expected me to play Terra Mystica at a moments notice. The only exception that comes to mind is if they're cool with ending it early because I wouldn't be able to play the whole time.
Since your friends don't seem very responsible, you have to do more legwork. I would ask which game is being played, and what the expected game time is. In addition, let them know your time limitations and that you'll have to leave by a specific time whether your finished or not. This may lead to less invitations ("lets start a game of Twilight Imperium 3 at 830 Pm on a Tuesday night! but lets not invite Meep_Launcher because he'll leave the game early") but at least everyone will be aware of the situation before hand.
Ideally, your friends will work around the person with the most restrictive schedule, "only 2 hours? lets play some love letter, DND Inn fighting game, and Port Royale". If they really want to play Monopoly, you can suggest a better time when you would be interested in playing where you'd have sufficient time to finish the game.
Yeah monopoly sucks
That's the point. Natural end stage of capitalism sucks.
Don't forget to tip your landed lord during your next monthly tribute!
I started playing D&D because it takes months to finish a campaign so people don't mind pausing the game after a certain time and playing once or twice a week.
If you communicate a hard stop time and this happens when you say you have to leave it might be time to start declining invitations. If you didn't communicate a hard stop time and they communicated a much short play time than reality it sounds like you're both a bit at fault and you two should talk about it.
anyways Terraforming Mars hardly lasts more than 3 hours. I’ve had games at it that lasted 1h45’. It needs that everybody prepare their turn on other player’s turns, and when it’s up to you, you just execute what you planned.
This is why I always do research on the game before playing it. Optimally, I'll download and read the rulebook, but "let's play" videos work in a pinch. (Or if the rulebook is a bit obtuse.)
Of course, if you don't know what you're playing beforehand, then it's up to the host(s) to teach you, and it all depends upon how good they are at teaching (and how good you are at paying attention). These situations are obviously much more dodgy, so I try to at least peruse the rulebook a bit and keep it nearby during the game so that I can look up rules during other players' turns.
Finally, it does get easier. It does take time and energy to learn these more complex games, but the payoff is more interesting and satisfying game experiences. Every time you play, you learn a little more. Of course, if you aren't getting any enjoyment out of it at all, you might want to stick with lighter games.
Learning a board game if no one's played it before can easily takes an hour and sometimes more in addition to the suggested play time, to figure out the set up and fully read and understand the rules.
I don't know what kind of friends would be upset at you being tired. The only time I might be annoyed is if you continually overcommit (ask to play a game you know takes all night then leave early).
I suggest you tell your friends whenabouts you need to leave, at the start and/or the middle of your hangout so they can set their expectations accordingly.
If the Alchemist game you think you would enjoy if you just weren't confused by the gameplay, have someone walk you through it, looking at your hand/pieces and tell you what to play and why for a round. I think part of the issue is that you need to communicate early and clearly so that you don't have to suffer in silence. A board game hangout shouldn't be something you dread; if it is then do something else. If it's that the game just isn't sparking your interest, 5-10 minutes into the rules you can stop and tell them that this doesn't feel interesting.
I'm regularly your friend that plays long as fuck games, but I always make sure that anyone I invite for these long games is acutely aware that they're in this for 4 hours and if that's not ok with them to tell me and we'll play something else. I kind of get the annoyance you host had when you abandoned the game midway, but it's really on them to manage expectations, especially when playing with adults with obligations. It is also up to them to figure out that when you explain a new game, it's going to take longer to play.
So really no fault of your own, and definitely don't apologize for having work in the morning, but it seems your friend is not that good at managing expectations and that means you'll have to do it yourself. Ask ik advance what game you'll be playing and watch a review or video of it (you can also watch a live game on Board Game Arena), and yeah you'll probably miss out on some great games that look bad from the outside but if not spending 4 hours playing a game you don't enjoy is more desirable to you then that's it.
You could also, of course, try communicating with your friend about your grievances. I don't know what good will come out of that discussion but I don't think it can be that bad.
The problem here is this friend communicated it was a 4 hour game but it's actually 8 hours.
It's so unreasonable to just expect people to stay longer then what everyone agreed upon
Going by BGG Terraforming Mars is a 2 hour game. New players learning the rules and building engines instead of pushing objectives can lengthen the game, but 4 hours is pushing it and there's either a problem with AP, people not paying attention, or people not taking their turn.
If that's regularly the case I can see why OP doesn't want to play longer heavier games. 2 hours of Terraforming Mars is fun, 4 hours is a slog.
Ask what game you're going to play and read about the game? Learn the rules in advance?
I am the person that loves long and complex games. If I have an upper limit for those qualities I have not found it yet, because it must be higher than those of all the players I've met.
So, I can't really answer your question, but I think I can tell you why the rest of the table was pissed off, and maybe that will help you in some way.
You like a certain type of game, but it's somewhat outside the mainstream, so it's difficult to find a full group for it and gather them all at the table at the same time. You get excited, you finally get to play the game you have been itching for. You're really having fun. Your strategy starts paying off. And then you don't get to see it to completion because one person gets up and leaves. It might be weeks or months before you get another chance. You got your hopes up and then got left hanging. That sucks.
A similar situation is if you talked somebody into a game who didn't want to play at first and just end up doing you a favor. In my experience, 9 times out of 10 they're not going to have a good time, and they'll drag the rest of the table down with them.
But here's the kicker: After some painful lessons I know those things now. So I don't nag people about playing with me anymore. I ask once, and then a no is a no. And I don't invite people who I know have a short attention span to play long games with me. And I sure as hell don't schedule a game night on a weekday where everybody needs to work tomorrow.
The person putting together the table has a responsibility to curate games that fit the audience or vice versa. Everybody else attending has a responsibility to be transparent about their availability and preferences.
I wouldn't call "I need to go home because it's 11PM and I work tomorrow" a "short attention span". The fact that you're characterizing it as such is ... problematic.
I'm not. You are making that connection.
The sentence right after that one applies better to OP.
That sounds like my experience with Star Fleet battles. A 'simple' and 'introductory' game at a local games club that three hours later had us only finished the second turn.
Back then I stuck it out to be nice. Now I'm far more likely to just apologetically say that the game is not working for me.
Take your phone out, look at it, get a slightly concerned look on your face that quickly turns to fear, run out the room yelling "No No No NO No No No No No they're not meant to be here this soon", destroy your phone and start a fresh new life.
I loathe Terraforming Mars, because you can't ease into it. You start at full speed and if you don't know what you're doing at the start, you're already fucked. The problem is, you don't know that, so it's one of those where you to royally fuck up twice, before you can play a good game.
You can't just go "well, I'm the tree-planting guys, I should probably focus on planting trees", because the game doesn't reward some things at all. There are straight up worse choices.
I spent a weekend learning a boardgame, only to find out it kinda sucks.
I'd start asking questions about what kind of games I'm invited to. Ask more questions about what you are getting yourself into, before committing.
I would have needed the answer to this question back when my friends invited me to play twilight empire.
We started at 10 am and finished at 11 pm ffs.
That was a quick game of TI in my experience.
I love this kind of game btw.. Unfortunately, nobody else I know really does.
I just sat there confused as hell for 4 and a half hours while three guys were all talking about strategies
That's partly on you. If you don't understand the game, you should probably be speaking up and asking for help to understand it. I'm a seasoned player who wins more often than not, and I will still ask other players about why certain mechanics are the way they are, or if something doesn't seem to make sense. If nobody's willing to pause things for 5 minutes to help you understand, they're a shit group and you should stop playing with them. On the other hand, if they're trying their best to make you understand, then either:
- They're all shit teachers (this is entirely possible, btw) and you need to find out what games will be played beforehand and do your homework before game night
- Accept that certain game difficulties are way above your head and stick to easier games. This level might change as you play more and absorb game mechanics and strategies.
--
Tonight it was Terraforming Mars, where I was told it would be a 3 hour game, but by hour 4 we were halfway done. This time I said “it’s 11pm, I have work in the morning, this will be my last hand” and the host got very passive aggressive with me.
Nothing wrong with that. Ideally you'd want to say that before the game, but I wouldn't blame anybody for going into a game with 3 hours and thinking that was enough time. On a side note, Terraforming Mars is one of those games where it doesn't really matter if a player leaves halfway through, anyway, so they were just being a jerk.
--
you are invited to play a game, only to find it's wildly complex and takes 4 hours to finish, and you find yourself not wanting to play it within minute 5?
As for your original question: Start asking how complex a game is beforehand, and how long it takes. Simple. You may need to adjust the answers you get according to the person replying you, or check out game ratings on BGG.
Oh no, another game of monopoly?!
Monopoly doesn't take that long, unless you change the rules specifically to prolong it.
Monopoly has rules?
Yeah, written in a little booklet and everything. You don't have to pass it down as an oral tradition from generation to generation!
There's certainly something to be said for playing Monopoly on a might makes right basis
The last game of monopoly I played was very much by the rules, and took 4 hours where the winner was statistically certain after 30 minutes.
Funnily enough, that was actually the goal
I would suggest grabbing your phone and quickly looking up the game on BGG before you start to see its length and complexity rating. Would take less than a minute and would give you a broad idea of what you're in for.
Do they use the time on the box or user reported game times? Because I often find the game on the box can be very optimistic lol.
BGG is user reported game length and weight. If you're learning the game you'll need to plan for it to take a little longer, as the times usually represent experienced players.
I played TF Mars many times and never took that long. Actually I found it to be in my sweet spot of complexity and time. But max 4 people.
But I totally get you. I have this friend who has a very peculiar way of explaining games. He explains the strategy instead of the lore and mechanics. I need to understand the mechanics first not the strategy. And he easily takes 1 hour to explain a game like Mars....
Yeah... To be frank he just talked strategy, but in a way that it felt like he was just saying how smart he was, if that makes any sense.
Yes totally make sense. The way I would TF Mars would be like "so this is a game where we play as corporations trying to develop mars. The goal is to make points by etc etc". He would explain it like "so there are these cards, cards can have these types, there are these projects, here's how you can make projects". The whole time I'd be like "why do I need this?" and everything just makes sense at the end.
Games usually say how long they take on the box. If it's too long just decline. If it goes over that usually in my experience it's because people are fucking around and making it take longer than it should instead of focusing on the game. Which is even more rude than leaving if it gets too late.
In my experience, game time estimates on boxes are similar to gas consumption of a car given by the manufacturer. Multiply by at least 1.5.
Also double that number if anyone is learning the game. Then if the box lists a per player time of 90 minutes or higher add another half hour per player.
If it goes over that usually in my experience it’s because people are fucking around and making it take longer than it should instead of focusing on the game
YMMV. In my experience 90% of game time estimates on the box are utter nonsense.
I say this as someone who's a fan of big, complicated, hours long games; 90% of the time, the numbers listed on the box are a total fucking lie.
OK, to be more precise, they typically measure how long the designers - who know every rule, never deliberate over what action to take, always pass priority when they're done, and never stop to grab a glass of water - think the game should take. And probably don't include set up time.
I use the times on BGG, as they are submitted by users.
Terraforming Mars is such a slog even when you know what you're doing.
Honestly it sounds like you need to communicate expectations ahead of time, and just make it clear you'll leave after X time regardless, that's not an unreasonable request. I don't think you did anything wrong in your example.
The game is mechanically much better when the card drafting rule is used, but that easily adds another hour of playtime, which is why I never bother with it.