this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 96 points 1 month ago

Average Redditor Boyfriend

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 84 points 1 month ago

Anon is the boyfriend AND the girlfriend.

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't know much about women, but I know calling them pretentious, their emotions absurd, their conversation inane, their intelligence non-existent and their mental age toddler level probably isn't the best way to keep them around long-term.

[–] chickenf622@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't think gender is even relevant in this case.

[–] Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah this just seems like an any% speed run to getting cut off by literally anyone

[–] Droechai@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

Or a test to see if the partner will stay around for abuse after a period of silence..

Silence, then abuse and after that love bombing

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 54 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Leaving the oceans was a mistake.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 30 points 1 month ago (3 children)

My reply text would be, "We're done. Goodbye."

[–] BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] WeLoveCastingSpellz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I will do you one better:

We're done. Badbye.

this will show him 😤

[–] colmear@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Based on the etymology ‘Satanbye’ would be more correct. But that might not carry the same meaning as your proposal

You're a Nerd. Badbye.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

dang, i'd have just hit block

[–] m4xie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago

Just "blocked"

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

You guys are missing the title: "fembot feels". The narrator is not a human but a chatbot.

EDIT: acc. to another poster -bot is the /r9k/'s equivalent of -anon. So nevermind.

[–] palebluethought@lemmy.world 44 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In 4chan parlance that just means she's calling herself autistic. Which in 4chan world may or may not be literal

[–] skulbuny@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

goddamn there's some new friends around here 😂

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nah. More like someone who never cared about /r9k/. I'm old enough in that shithole to remember the AnT spam.

[–] skulbuny@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

I only know about r9k through greentexts, I just stick with trolling on /g/ and /tg/ :P

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That is a dude who needs to have a dry dick for a while.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Like the rest of his life?

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

At the very least until he gets just mature enough to realize he's not anywhere near as smart as he thinks he is.

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

It sounds like her boyfriend is Ignatius J. Reilly lol

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Look, if you're dating an idiot (m or f) that's fine, be happy. But ffs don't be an abusive jackass.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago

Why am I picturing a Doctor Doom kinda villain typing this? Altough this being 4chan, I'm guessing we would be closer to The Monarch.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Something struck me, I first pictured the boyfriend as the classic overweight, smelly, unkempt neckbeard. Are there new visual tropes for these sorts of pseudo intellectuals or are fedora-clad 2010 Jonah Hill lookalikes still the stereotype?

[–] MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Don't sleep on the skinny dork archetype.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 7 points 1 month ago

Can’t believe they cast RDJ as Dr DOOM when this guy is out there somewhere.

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Very healthy yes