I only read Lenny, obv I'm missing some meme about him fucking couches?
this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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Someone on Twitter joked about JD Vance talking about using a glove and couch to get his rocks off in Hillbilly Elegey on page xxx. This exploded, leading to AP news to release a factcheck titled something like "No, JD Vance didn't have sex with a couch", stating there is no reference to that on the quoted page.
Then, AP removed the article, saying it didn't meet their standards, leading to the joke to explode again. The explanation for the removal is that AP definitely said he didn't fuck a couch in the title, but that's impossible to prove, only that he didn't talk about it on page xxx of his book.
I mean tbf you can't prove he didn't do it. So AP was right to remove it
Raises hand to object by noting the Ad Ignorantiam fallacy... You know what, like JD I'll let it slide...
Gin Rummy : I always say the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
Riley : What?
Gin Rummy : Simply because you don't have evidence that something does exist does not mean you have evidence of something that doesn't exist.
Riley : What?
Gin Rummy : What country are you from?
Riley : What?
Gin Rummy : 'What' ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in 'What'?
Riley : What?
Gin Rummy : English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?
Riley : Yeah.
Gin Rummy : So you understand the words I'm saying to you!
Riley : Yeah.
Gin Rummy : Well, what I'm saying is that there are known knowns and that there are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns; things we don't know that we don't know.
Riley : What?
Gin Rummy : Say what again! Say what again! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker! Say what one more time!
100%
You’ve missed quite the saga over the past week. See also, dolphins.
FOMO about the dolphin thing is real over here.
Did JD fuck a dolphin too?
He wrote about couch fucking in his book like it's something everyone does. He likes to add a lubed glove.
I miss when I didn't know this sort of thing about the candidates...
The story about him writing it was under "telling lies on the Internet" so it was obviously a joke, but it got traction anyway and while it's possible to show it's not in the book, it's impossible to show he's never mentioned such a thing, and/or never done it. Plus of course he just looks like a Davenport Debauching Douche.
Just kidding, he’s also against birth control.
Just to say, I'm increasingly uncertain about how truthful it really is that JD Vance was the worst possible pick for Trump and the best case for the democrats. If the matchup was still Biden, perhaps. But the thing is, Kamala has the black vote, Indian vote, and to a lesser extent the Female vote on lockdown now. She's the candidate, she's got them turning out hard, any attempt for Trump to win some over with someone like Carson or Swaney would have been utterly undone and rendered moot. There's a bit more of an argument for the women, but Nikki was too troublesome and most of the other options are either old or look old. Trump needed someone young to shore up that flank, who won't depress his base(or will help boost them, albeit after the shooting that's not needed), helps him look sane and the ticket by proxy, and is at least potentially helpful with either the rust belt whites or Hispanics(who are the actually gettable ones against Harris). Vance is young, helps the base, and might edge out a few rust belt voters. He's useless with Hispanics though and doesn't help the moderate issue. So still not great, but a lot of the picks people were worried about like Ben Carson would have been completely neutralized by Harris with hindsight. The threat of Trump pulling over key black voters is a dead threat and that's not where the VP sway matters most right now.
The two picks that would be better than Vance(and the two you should feel worried about Trump switching to in the next 10 days) are Doug Burgum and Glenn Youngkin. Burgum has a lot of the same advantages as Vance, and he comes off as a lot more sane and less stupid, albeit at the cost of being older than Harris and most of her VP choices. That one could go either way honestly and I doubt Trump would risk the optics for someone barely better, but if he did he could be an issue especially as it kills stories like OP. The real threat would be Glenn Youngkin. He's younger than Harris by two years and younger than almost all her VP options. He's a white guy, he comes off as more moderate than Trump or Vance by comparison, but not so much to risk depressing the base like Haley, and he's younger(Also he has Young in his last name, easy to work with). The biggest threat with him though is that he'd give a boost in Virginia, and while Post-Biden that's not a death sentence it forces Harris to commit resources and time to a state the Republicans don't really need to win and the Democrats really cannot afford to lose. Also both Burgum and Youngkin have tech industry roots and heavy ties. They might not be Vance tier loyalists, but they'll sing the tune of the Paypal Mafia if they must.
If it didn't want me to spank it, it should have been dressed up in a goddamn S&M gimp suit
What the sigma is up with that couch? It looks like an alien egg in couch format
Many fine people are saying that JD Vance has sexual relations with couches. Many fine people.