The Monkey's Paw

569 readers

1 users here now

Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

founded 10 months ago

MODERATORS

late_night@sopuli.xyz

ToothpasteSundae@lemmy.dbzer0.com

I wish my dog could walk himself. (infosec.pub)

submitted 3 months ago by henfredemars@infosec.pub to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

It would be so much more convenient for the both of us, and then he could go outside, anywhere, whenever he likes.

top 11 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Granted. You are now spending less quality time with your dog. Your dog now knows you don't want to spend time with him, and feels betrayed that you used an entire wish for it. Over time, you drift apart, and your dog stops loving you.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Jesus Satan. Calm down.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

😢

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 months ago

You're gonna appreciate the fuck out of the next walk, I bet. And your dog will too.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 0 points 3 months ago

🏆

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Granted, dogs can now walk themselves... on two feet. Now bipedal, they quickly adapt and overthrow humanity. They decide to keep humans as pets. Your dog now takes you out for walks and grumbles about how much easier it would be if you could just walk yourself...

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not the worst outcome in the world! Definitely would be a shocker, but I feel like my dog loves me back and would take good care of me as a pet.

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Just be thankful you live in a country where we keep dogs as pets and don't eat them!

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I don't know where you live, but we shouldn't get too high and mighty. Pigs are of similar intelligence, and the consumption of pork is more widespread than that of dogs.

(Bacon and ham are so tasty though...)

[–] DeprecatedCompatV2@programming.dev 1 points 3 months ago

Granted, your dog leaves home and becomes a local celebrity for walking himself. He shares none of the fame and fortune with you, yet you're still on the hook for his housing and food expenses anyway.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Granted. The dog is caught and put in the pound and you are fined $250. He also defended himself against a chihuahua and you are due in court next month for a trial that will decide if the dog is euthanized and the financial implications of the trauma and damages caused by your dog "mauling" an innocent dog 1/10th his size while he was irresponsibly let loose roaming the streets.