For some reason, cishet american men on dating apps love to put a picture of themselves holding up a fish they caught while fishing as one of their dating profile pics.

Nobody really knows why that’s supposed to attract a potential dating partner, but it’s really common.

[–] hh93@lemm.ee 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'd guess it should send a "see how I can provide for food even without using money" kind of way?

But yeah it's stupid

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

To be fair if fishing is your passion it s normal to want to show it.

[–] rubythulhu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Honestly i think it’s much more realistic that most cishet men don’t take pictures of themselves often. But they do when they catch a fish, because that’s what fishy people do. It’s a dick-measuring contest amongst men where the dick being measured is “how big of a fish can i catch?”.

So it’s one of the only pictures you have of yourself, because men don’t tend to just take pictures of themselves just hanging out, there has to be a manly reason for men to take pictures of each other.

Also, often, men go out and fish together to get away from and complain about their partners, and usually, these fish pics come with a bunch of your friends going 👀😍🤯 at your fish.

And even if you’re not all of those negative things, it makes you far from unique. every boring cookie-cutter dude has a fish pic. look, i caught a fish, i am manly so i can provide for you with some average trout i found in a lake.

also, if this many men think “fishing is my most dating-profile worthy passion”, it says a lot. It doesn’t make you special because a good third of men on dating apps share that passion, and it honestly makes me expect a dick pic from you if i even bother matching with you. Maybe try showing off your other passions too?

[–] Letstakealook@lemm.ee 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You can just admit you have a general disdain for men. Maybe after admitting that, do yourself and all men a favor, and just leave men alone, lol.

[–] rubythulhu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don’t have a general disdain for men. I do have a general disdain for toxic masculinity. There’s a huge difference between the two.

Look, you wanna put your fish pic in your dating profile? Go ahead. but it’s not impressive. Plenty of other men have bigger fish pics on their profile, and they’re equally unimpressive to anyone who isn’t into fishing.

I’ve never met another woman who had anything positive to say about a man on a dating site with fish pictures. Met plenty of other women who are equally as confused as i am about fish pics. Never even anyone saying “look how cute he is being proud of catching some fish of some size, isn’t he cute?”.

fishing isn’t a substitute for a personality.

[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de 0 points 8 months ago

You think that you get any authentic picture of someone doing an unusual but awesome hobby? Also how do you expect to get "a personality" presented in a picture?

Finally, if someone has a passion and is truly making an effort to be exceptional at it, expect to get yourself in line. You don't get a sports champion or concert instrumentalist, who'll put you before your passion. Thats not how you get exceptional at these things.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't

I'm just unattractive.

Like oh hey, I have a house and a job and a really cute kid and here's one where I'm wearing a winter coat in 109F weather to show I'm funny

honestly I realize that dating apps are pretty much a scam.

Actually, they're so much of a scam I'm sitting here with my AI assistant and webstorm and thinking about how I'd make a more legitimate dating website and it would just end up making me money by selling useless services to desperate singles too busy to meet other people

[–] rubythulhu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You’re not “just unattractive”.

For one, there is no such thing as a line above which someone is attractive vs unattractive, at least not in general. Different people find different physical qualities attractive.

For two, physical attraction isn’t as important as you’re trying to pretend it is. Sure, to some people it is super important, possibly the most important aspect. Most people connect emotionally. Being pretty can get your foot in the door, but not much else.what are your standards for attractiveness? Are you willing to date someone who you think is as physically attractive as you see yourself?

Being pretty can get your foot in the door, but that’s it. You don’t build a relationship on “well i’m attractive so that’s why my partner wants to be with me”. Those relationships are empty and meaningless. Stop worrying about how physically attractive you think you are, and focus more on what makes you unique as a person, and what your passions are. You still won’t be guaranteed success, but you’ll be a lot more likely to find someone who vibes with you.

As for the scam bit? These companies often do have shady practices, they make money when people use it to date; they lose money when people find love and stop dating. But you can’t pay a company more to make other humans more attracted to you. If that’s how you see it, it will always be a “scam”. If you treat it as just a way to meet people, it’s a completely different story.

You can pay a dating app more money to make you visible to more people, but it won’t make you more appealing to the people on it.

Sure, you have a house, a job, and a child. Lots of people do. what are your passions? what drives you? what do you do when you have time completely to yourself? What brings you joy outside of dating?

job and life status don’t make us interesting except to superficial people. our passions and the things we love do. follow your passions. share those with the people you want to date. your pictures and how physically attractive you are are practically meaningless.

[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de 0 points 8 months ago

and how do you connect emotionally on a dating site? You dont. The first impression is how attractive and approachable you seem.

Also attractiveness is important, as it improves sex and sex is important for a relationship. ofc. the best looks can only counteract terrible sex so much, but it does play a role.