this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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My wife & I never even discussed whether she should or would change her name. She’s not my property.
I took my wife's name.
That is honestly quite adorable. I considered it.
Where my wife is over here stealing the last names of my family, my family's family, and her family's family. She's collecting last names like Thanos collecting stones.
She needs to be stopped before she's related to everyone.
Can she be my mommy uwu
Only if you have a different last name
I appreciate your progressive attitudes, though I wonder whether you considered how your comment may be received by married Lemmings who’ve already made a different decision than you. Could they perceive an unjustified attack you didn’t intend?
I don’t think I’m responsible for other adults’ reactions to my life choices or my lived experiences.
You are correct!
You are not directly responsible for everyone's reactions.
That said, an awareness of how our words and experiences may resonate with differing perspectives shows consideration and helps create a more inclusive space.
What do you think about helping us create the kind of platform we all want to be on?
It’s true that as a lemmy.ml admin, I’m not going out of my way to make this an inclusive space for traditional family values. I have different priorities for whom I make this space inclusive.
Oh, this all makes sense now.
So implying that name by marriage still implies ownership, excludes me, a man that wants to fly the banner of his wife's clan.
You aren't supporting your "different priorities" very well.
Inclusive for me but not for thee
Rarely see it spelled out that clearly, I think that's a huge issue with modern "progressivism".
Progressivism has no inherent need to be all-encompassing. In fact, keeping certain groups *cough conservatives cough* not included is an essential part of successful progressivism.
You're referring to the tolerance paradox, and I completely agree with that, but I don't think that's what happened here.
Who knew how many reactionaries would get flushed out of the bushes by a little off-hand comment about my personal life?
it doesn't have to be about property, it can be about showing off that your officially one family now. And i think that's a valid reason for changing your last name (aka family name)
You can always opt to take on a double name, you can both take on your wife's name if you prefer that, or whatever. But just because a woman chooses to take her husband's name, doesn't mean that she's now his property. Your children also aren't your property just because they have your last name
Edit: And before someone brings up the fact that the historic reason is property: Things can change and people like to stick to certain traditions regardless of the history that the tradition carries.
Just because your last name is Smith doesn't mean that you need to become a blacksmith, even though that's where the name originates from