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I guess for some people there's no "good" or "bad" way to be. There's just the real world, and that's it.
If people have been through abuse and trauma, they've been surrounded by people who think that power is the most important thing. And I guess that gets internalised to the extent that "strong" and "weak" becomes their axis instead of "right" and "wrong".
I think it's rather telling that the narrative that these people lay out usually revolves around the idea that people should get a thicker skin or learn to deal with it.
And sadly, I don't think people that have gone through those things are able to find and maintain a good social group of positive people.
That tracks, I suppose. Kinda makes me want to help somehow...
I’ve found that unless you already know someone at a personal level, someone that thinks they don’t need help is unable to accept it. In their mind, needing help means they weren’t strong to begin with. It’s a show of humility to ask for help. Humility is often misinterpreted as weakness.