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Woo the first real answer that just doesn’t argue with my semantics, and also really well written!
Yes, and I think the context, as you emphasize, is so key here. In situations that are vulnerable to the point of being time sensitive, interrogating one’s biases is absolutely valid to do later (or even better, before).
I am noticing a pattern in (what I consider to be) the real answers in that they mostly apply in situations where cognition is limited in some sense. Children have limited cognition so we tell them “stranger danger” and “cars can’t see you.” But, as we know from your example, cognition can also be limited by time which means that gut instincts and stereotypes often apply in dangerous situations as well.
Thanks for your comment!
I can say being a trans woman confronts you with this dilemma head on. While I was boymode I was largely ignored and didn't think much about safety, but after transitioning I began to understand why my sister always had an array of self defense keychains.
Since it was a sudden shift for me I've ask myself how to avoid dangerous people, and apart from self defense methods the only real answer I've come to is recognize the signs and trust your gut feelings.
Sadly many people are conditioned to always be nice and accommodating to please everyone. Everybody needs to set strict boundaries and know how to leave unapologetically when they're breached. You never owe someone your unconditional trust.
🙌🙌 poignant advice