I’d say you can find things that make life worth living if you’re already here. But if someone's not "here", why drag someone you're supposed to love the most into this mess when we can’t even properly look after the children that are already here.

I’m not anti-child - I’d consider adopting if it didn’t cost like $20k. I’m anti-new child for myself, and yeah I get sad when I see other people have kids, especially now. It's like having another kid when you lived in the middle of the dust bowl and people were actively dying from starvation and the dust. Probably not the best time to have kids, similar to now. They just couldn't easily make the choice to not have kids back then.

There are tons of arguments in favour of having kids like what if they cure cancer etc.

However, for myself, I truly believe there will be an ecological collapse due to climate change if not during my lifetime, in the immediate next generation. And we’re still not doing enough. I don’t want to flee natural disasters with a child in tow. One of best things you can do for the climate is not have kids. I'm privileged enough to make that choice so I did, but it's not my only reason. You got late stage capitalism and the accelerating concentration of resources with the hyper wealthy, war / nuclear war, and the fact that pregnancy is one of most risky things I can medically do. Social media, the toxic drug supply, the rise of fascism (again), microplastics in literally fucking everything. I don't even think we'll have social healthcare or social security in Canada by the time I die because they're gutting our programs so badly.

I get that people have a strong reaction to their choices being called immoral. Morality looks different for everyone. However, the counterargument of "Well I have children and they're great and bring me so much joy etc" falls on deaf ears, because it truly does not sound like joy to me and when I say I am anti-child for myself I am telling you that. It's like trying to convince someone skydiving is the greatest thing - some people love it, but not my cup of tea. It is so foreign to me that whenever I hear parents say this it feels like they are trying to convince themselves that they made the right choice.

[–] ebc@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Have you watched Idiocracy? I consider myself a smart guy, and having children is my way to fight against the world getting stupider.

Also, it is a joy. Yeah, it's expensive, and yeah, it's a ton of work. But it's like working on a very big project that you know you'll be proud of when it's done. I didn't understand it before because I only experienced other people's children, but it's different with your own children in a way that's hard to explain.

[–] CommanderCloon@lemmy.ml 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What I don't get is, why not just adopt? Instead of creating more potential for misery, why not reduce it while still being able to enjoy parenthood?

[–] yuri@pawb.social 7 points 4 months ago

It’s usually exceptionally expensive, especially considering insurance won’t be any help.

What I don’t get is why people pretend fostering isn’t even an option!

[–] Orygin@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 months ago

Idiocracy is eugenics propaganda. People don't get dumber because of their genes but because of worse education.
Like the other commenter said, adopt if you want to improve the world (and not just your own life), but that's harder without the biological attachment that comes from your own kids.

(Not trying to be rude btw, just noting generally my thoughts)