Transfem

3465 readers

228 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
Please be kind and respectful to all.
Please tag NSFW topics.
No NSFW image posts.
Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
Please do not repost bigoted content here.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone

ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Watching cool transfems and cis-fems online or in shows makes me sad now so I'll stop (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

20 comments fedilink hide all child comments

[Requesting Engagement from transfems]

(Blahaj lemmy told me to put this up top, so I did)

I did not expect this to happen. I followed FairyPrincessLucy for a long time, cuz she's real nice and seems cool.

Time passes and I noticed how I would feel very bad when watching her do stuff. I was like

damn, she so generally okay with her situation. Wish I was too lol

So I stopped watching her.

Just now I discovered another channel, Melody Nosurname , and I really, really like her videos! She seems very reasonable and her little character is super cute <3
But here too I noticed how watching the vids made me super uncomfortable.
The representation is nice, for sure, and her videos are of very high quality, I can only recommend them (as in - the videos).

I started by noticing

woah, her tshirt is super cute, I wanna have that too!

Then I continue with

heyo her friend here seems also super cool. Damn wish I had cool friends

And then eventually the classic

damn, I wish I were her

At that point, it's already over. I end up watching another video and, despite my genuine interest in the topic, I stop it in the middle, close the tab and open Lemmy (and here we are).

Finally I end up watching videos by cis men, like Scott the Woz. They are fine, and I end up not comparing myself to them (since I wouldn't necessarily want to be them). I also stopped watching feminine people in general online, as they tend to give me a very similar reaction. Just like

yeah, that's cool that you're mostly fine with yourself, I am genuinely happy for you that you got lucky during random character creation <3

I also watched The Owl House, which is a really good show (unfortunately owned by Disney) and I stopped watching when...

Spoiler for the Owl House

it started getting gay <3 cuz I started feeling way too jealous of them just being fine with themselves and pretty and gay <3 and such

I wanted to see where the show was going, and I'm sure it's real good, but that is not worth risking my wellbeing, I thought.

So anyway...

have you had a period like that before?
How did you deal with it?
Do you watch transfem people? Please share your favs! <3
I also like watching SimplySnaps. Her videos are also really high quality, I just end up not being able to watch them for too long before sad hits :(

additional info about me, if anyone cares

I currently don't take hrt, but I'm on my way. I'm attending psychological therapy with a really nice tharapist here in Germany.
I struggle to find good words to describe how I feel but slowly I find better words for it.
I'm currently 19 and present myself mostly masculine still, while trying to act very nice, generally acceptable and friendly. So kinda in a way which makes both super sweet queer people <3 <3 <3 <3 and hetero cis queerphobes accept me as just another character. (I work at a school with very mixed ideologies, so I kinda have to).
But oh boi do I have social anxiety, even at home with mother...

EDIT: Changed info about SimplySnaps
EDIT2: Added The Owl House example

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Sasha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 weeks ago

I've had a lot of these experiences, and it's been pretty hard, I've even had the exact same experience with The Owl House actually.

Honestly I've been dealing with it by working on myself, I'm slowly becoming someone I like to be and feeling more confident, largely through diy fashion, but also just by getting involved in stuff I'm passionate about. Over time the envy has begun to fade because I'm feeling more and more like I have my own identity and I like who I am now.

I have no idea if it's even remotely the same for you, but once I stopped feeling generic, things got a lot better. These days I look in the mirror and I see the punk I am, instead of a struggling mess with no direction, and that makes me feel secure about myself. It's still really crazy to me that I feel more real than ever because of a pair of pants made of dental floss and dirt.