"Stop worrying what other people think" is bad advice anyway. It's not like that's a possibility for people with anxiety. Give concrete advice: self affirmation, reflective writing, journaling positive feedback....

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's also bad advice in general? The moment you stop caring what others think you become a terrible member of society. You'll go around smelly, haggard, rude, in your pajamas and absolutely fail in life because you "don't care what other people think"

[–] Mighty@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't agree in the slightest. Because if you care, you won't do that probably. Self care is not about others, but about yourself, hence "self". If you only bathe, are gentle, dress... because of others, maybe you have different issues

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

These aren't self care, you can't smell yourself, pajamas are comfortable, and rudeness is to others by definition.

[–] flughoernchen 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Wtf of course you can smell yourself. Also when you feel good, you are more attentive to positive things, and therefore less inclined to be rude. Ignorant maybe, yes. But that's a different thing.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If you can actively smell yourself, you're either putting on way too much deodorant and perfumes, or you're really smelly. The human nose is designed to really quickly adapt to and not notice persistent scents

[–] flughoernchen 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

If you can actively smell yourself, you're [...] really smelly.

Yeah. Thanks for reinforcing my point. You wouldn't go out in this state even if you give a fuck about other people, because it feels uncomfortable to you.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ok, you're just neutral enough that you can't smell yourself. You still smell terrible to other people.

This doesn't change the argument.

[–] Mighty@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's beside the point. If you only care about your hygiene because of others, you're neglecting your own comfort. I'm not wearing deodorant, for example, because I don't want to. I'm still not smelly in the negative sense (yes I asked), because I take showers regularly - and I take showers regularly because I care about my own body

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There is always going to be a difference between what you find acceptable for yourself and what others do. Societal and others' expectations can never perfectly confirm to individual desires.

[–] Mighty@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

You're just talking to be correct? Fine, you're right. Have a peaceful life

[–] poke@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

That's not what that implies. I've seen that argument from religious people describing how atheists must be unruly because they have no incentive to meet a good afterlife.

I can still be clean, look how I want, and be nice to others just because I want to and I like it when others do the same.

[–] 10_0@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago

If they cant affect you, don't think about them, if you don't respect them, keep the peace until you can change the situation, if you hate them, try to resolve the hatred as far as is depends on you.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Oh, for sure.

But the meme is specific to "social identity"

Some beasts need a sword, others a harpoon. If only everyone had a BFG. Doesn't work that way, though.