this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
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I sneezed at an angle this morning and fucked my back up. Also, why the fuck does a large portion of my body and weight sit atop a single column of bones precariously cushioned by jelly and rubbery bits? And if said jelly/rubbery bits get squeezed a bit too hard, the bones smash nerves that control my fucking extremities?
Nature really fucked us.
Ah, see the warranty only covers you until you procreate.
From that point on, who cares if your body evolved to crumble into dust immediately after?
In fact kind of a lot of creatures literally die right after creating offspring.
So you're saying that so long as I don't have kids I can live as recklessly as I like and claim the damage on warranty?
Oh. Nonono. Just until you could have had kids.
Not even when you could responsibility have kids. Honestly, it's all downhill once you're like 12-14.
Some really unlucky people peak at 14 but for the vast majority the peak will hit in their early thirties. For those who prioritize sleep, play, and socializing that peak is a plateau until about 50.
This is why we Asexuals live forever.
Mortal skill issue.
I think the warranty stretches a little further. You also need to live long enough to ensure your offspring become moderately self sufficient, but anything above 30 is definitely buyer beware
Wrong, at least in most primates a social web around the child formed from the parents, kin, and fellows is evolutionary advantageous
So many poor "design choices" in human anatomy. (Note, I know there's no intelligent design).
The optic nerve. External testicles. Lack of decent fur. The way some nerves and blood vessels are routed make zero sense. An immune system that often wants to kill you. The list goes on. I'm sure a biologist or medical person could add plenty more. Many animals have some of these traits, too. If some trait or process is just barely good enough, nature will chug along with it for millions of years. Nature is all about some redneck engineering.
External* testicles are legit really cool though, they change their distance from your body to regulate temperature
*they also can and will retract all the way inside your body if it’s cold enough
Sloths and elephants don't seem to have trouble with their internal testes.
Maybe they regulate better. Just ice your balls so they pop inside then just sloth around so you don't break a sweat and drop your balls
Wait wtf? Really??
And I thought vaginas were weird...
Using the same tube for breathing and eating is a classic (I type while choking on my tea)
Good catch, I forgot that one! And the other classic is having waste excreting plumbing and reproductive plumbing all bunched together.
I sneezed on the toilet and tweaked something in my hip. It still hurts sometimes.
That’s what you get for trying to multitask!
/s
A horrible thought I heard once and can never get out of my mind:
Our bodies originally had horizontal spines and everything hung down from it. Now we hold our spines vertically, but the internals now all hang wrong.
No idea if true (seems like it's simplifying eons of evolution), but it makes me very uncomfortable imagining it.
Nature: Bro, it’s fine. All the other animals will think you’re smarter if you stand up straight. You’ll look really cool too, all tall and hairless and shit. Chicks love that stuff.
I also read that the human baby head is getting bigger while human hip bones are shrinking. Eww...
Anyone who’s routed network cables can tell the spine is rookie work
I’ve spent a lot of time under false floors, routing cables in overhead trays, and neatly configuring cables in server racks so nothing gets pinched.
Nature is a fucking amateur.
Can't wait for zero-g retirement homes :)
I don’t think we were meant to live this long. Science can’t just let us live longer without fixing our shitty bodies.
Science: Lol fuck you, you’re 62 years old, here’s a Tylenol, go to work. Maybe your overlords will let you rest in 3 years (if you have the money)
Used to be horizontal until some weirdo decided they wanted to use front legs to carry their car keys and guns. Imagine doing a wheelie on your motorcycle (not mine!) all the time because you think you can see better that way and don't like SUVs.
"Intelligent design" ..... let's install the main components of the central nervous system that connect to every major and minor part of the body inside the main support structure that carries the entire body.
I'm not going to link the same Louie clip for the third time this month, but we're using a clothesline as a flagpole.
The spine seems to be working pretty well for every other vertebrate though 🗿