this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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Let me preface by saying, I have my SUV all set up with a bed and a kitchen and all the amenities I need to camp out in the woods. I like it that way I'm enjoying myself I see no reason to change.

A couple of times I have mentioned that when seeing a doctor and the next thing I know, here comes the social worker with a stack of papers. I tell them that I'm doing fine. That I like how I'm living. I didn't ask for any unsolicited help. And they don't seem to listen at all. At some point they just leave me with a bunch of paperwork in a huff. I don't understand why they get so upset just because I don't want their help.

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[–] Kintarian@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (3 children)

In general I don't really like to hurt other people's feelings. But I also like to have my freedom to decide to do things the way I want. I can see your point but it seems kind of harsh.

[–] protist@mander.xyz 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

At no point should you ever be so concerned about protecting a licensed professional's feelings that you don't ask for what you want, in this case to be left alone. If they get their feelings hurt, that's totally on them, because they're (supposed to be) the professional in this situation.

[–] Kintarian@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Good point. And I might have come across a little defensive, as someone else mentioned. My next strategy is simply not to ever bring it up again. It's apparently not a fun topic of conversation when it comes to doctors and hospitals.

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 7 points 2 months ago

I get not wanting to hurt the others' feelings, but agency and consent take priority. Specially when it comes to one's own life.

[–] orcrist@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can you explain what you felt was harsh?

[–] Kintarian@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

A lot of people who desire to help others don't really do so because they want a better world; they do it for the sake of their own fee fees, because they want to *feel* like a good person who helps others out. 

--Here you're saying that they are being disingenuous and glorifying themselves which means you probably think they don't really want to help people at all.

As such, they're willing to violate the others' agency and consent and force their "help" down your throat, even if they aren't actually helping jack shit but being just a burden; and they get really pissy when you correctly highlight that they are not helping and impose some boundaries. (inb4 "but I have good intentions" - go pave Hell with them dammit.

--Here you seem to be saying that they're forceful and arrogant and should probably go to hell

That is not just social workers, mind you. You see people like this in all professions and environments. However, I believe that there's a disproportionate large amount of those among social workers due to the nature of their job, simply because social work is all about helping others out. 

--You see this across the board in similar professions and bureaucracies which could be true, I'll admit

Couple that with bureaucracy. There's a high chance that your info is in some database as "refused help". Guess how someone who, unlike you, needs and wants help but declines it due to pride would get into that database? "Refused help". So the next social worker checking your entry will see it as someone who potentially might want and need help.

--Here you say that I probably could be put on some blacklist and every time I open my mouth they're going to come shove it down my throat again. 

Now, I'm not necessarily saying you're wrong, I just don't think I would have put it so bluntly.