this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2024
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Wait, that's actually a real poster? What. The. Fuck.
I mean, it is more than a bit sexist but... that is probably the demographic who need to understand this in a college environment.
Consent is incredibly important and a LOT of media for the past few decades shat on it. No, I don't (just) mean how basically every movie in the 80s was about raping people. I mean even "Okay, what if we got you/her drunk?" and so forth. I want to say even Friends and Seinfeld played the idea of one of the guys getting their girlfriend drunk for laughs (well, I think Jerry used turkey?).
Reminding people "that is a crime and you can go to jail" is important... even if people rapidly learn that rich white guys never go to jail.
Yeah I don't get the hate. Drunk people can't consent. It is pretty simple.
Drunk people can't consent, not just drunk women. That's the point of contention.
Edit: it's worth mentioning that there are definitely limits to this statement. If two people at the nightclub have had several drinks and decide to hook up, that's probably okay. They're two consenting adults, even though they're legally drunk. The issue is when one of the people is significantly impaired, to the point where they can't really think clearly and consent or object. Just having a few beers and fucking isn't a crime, and anyone who thinks it is is a prude.
It is nuanced for sure. A married couple can get drunk and have sex and it can be consensual, but it also could not be. And I purposefully didn't mention gender at all.
It is a big problem and each instance has its own facts.
Then why wouldn't she be charged with rape?
Yes, if she was the instigator.
That's not what the poster sez.
Because rape means penetration of someone without consent. Assuming Josie probably doesn’t have a penis, it’d be incredibly hard to charge her with rape.
Not making someone penetrate you without their consent?
Listening not trying to get all Jordan Peterson “WHATS HAPPENING TO MEN” here, but if it doesn’t cut both ways what are we really doing?
I think for women, it’ll count as sexual assault. I think legally it can be as bad as rape, considering jail time and such. Both are felonies.
I know two males who were raped by women when unconscious in college, and neither of them were okay with it.
People always picture a huge unattractive woman when this gets brought up.
But one of my college roommates got raped by a girl who was at least "an 8".
They had hooked when he was blackout and she was just tipsy. He wanted nothing to do with her tho, and told her that repeatedly. She was just hot, young, and had never been turned down before.
So like a week later we have a party he's not at. She showed up early, had two beers, then went to "wait" in his bed. Even though everyone was telling her not to do that.
When he shows up, still wants nothing to do with her, so just gets blacked out at the party instead of kicking her out of his bed asap. I guess trying to wait her out and hoping she'd eventually give up.
By the time he finally goes to bed, he's blacked out and she's been in there line 6-8 hours and completely sober.
Next morning she teased him about how they had sex again but he kept falling asleep during it.
If he was a chick, no one would argue that the second time was rape. Hell, we'd have probably fought a guy if he kept insisting he was going to "wait" in a drunk girls bed who was clear she didn't want anything to do with him.
Yes, it happens, and it can be very emotionally damaging for men too. One of the guys I was talking about was a virgin, and wanted to wait until he was married to have sex. He passed out in a bedroom at a party, and one of the women there stripped him naked, got him hard, and had sex with him. He was only vaguely conscious when this was happening. He had a very difficult time accepting that his years worth of discipline and sacrifice were stolen from him.
Yea, both were drunk but fuck Jake and his rights because he has the penis.
I can understand and appreciate the intentions, but there are few things worse than good intentions without intelligence, flexibility and nuance, as the statements below seem accurate and feel utterly screwed up:
It's almost like what Public Enemy said in "Fear Of A Black Planet":
Black man, black woman - black baby
White man, black woman - black baby
Black man, white woman - black baby
I feel like there's a saying, something about hell and intentions.
ah, yes.
a simpler time when one is EASILY identified either by penis OR vagina ONLY.
unlike today.
^/j
Rape charges don’t materialize from thin air. If she reported it then yes, fuck Jake not because of his penis, but because he did not obtain consent.
For some reason this thread has become chock full of people who seem to think men can do no wrong and “equality” means charging both people for rape even though only one of them felt they were assaulted. It’s understandable considering the demographics of the internet and social media sites like lemmy in general (often young men, teenagers, etc). But this is what the poster is talking about — you continue to make assumptions about what this woman has decided to do and consent to, when you have no right to those assumptions because she is intoxicated. It’s incredibly simple, but this thread is blinded by “woman bad” rhetoric around rape charges.
If you don’t rape, you won’t be in this situation. No ifs ands or buts about it. You can argue with me all you want, you can call me crazy all you want, it doesn’t change the fact I am right. Whining and crying about the unfairness of the courts when it comes to assault charges is a cringey position to take. Do better.
It’s the gross assumption that the man won’t regret his actions. Or that he wouldn’t be shamed and ridiculed just for trying to claim he didn’t want it.
You do better.
lol what? Literally what, a dozen times now? I’ve said if he was raped, he should report it. Stop putting words in my mouth lol
you do better, rape sympathizer.
This thread is full of prepubescent teen boys who seem to think “mens rights” are under attack and that rape is edgy. Y’all are absolutely insane, and I think it’s very telling that you continue to try to make me seem like the bad person here. Make no mistake: it’s y’all lol
He was drunk, therefore she didn't get consent. So she did rape him. Period.
However, you and I both know if he tried to report it, it is a near certainty that it would go nowhere, and he'd be mocked and ridiculed for it not just enjoying how lucky he was to have had the attentions of a woman on him.
It's a disgusting double standard and you've shown that you're part of the problem.
The end all be all here is — don’t rape. Idk why you’ve got such a problem with that, most reasonable people don’t. If you can’t understand that then I don’t think you have any right to say who is a problem at all 😂
lol who is spouting the double standards?? “If he tried to report it it wouldn’t go anywhere” ummm not true? Kinda sounds like you’re speaking from experience lol
It’s okay one day your frontal lobe will be fully formed and you’ll understand the basics of how the world works.
Keep labeling me whatever you want, the only one who is in the wrong is you lol
So charge the woman with rape charges as well. It's either both were raped or neither were. He was drunk and she took advantage of him.
Did he wake up and think, “oh damn, I didn’t want to have sex last night”? If so, then yes, charge her. If not, then once again, he is in the wrong.
Are you really trying to say women can't be trusted with their actions when drinking? You want men to make all their decisions for them? You can't be a real person.
That’s not at all what I’m saying. Are you saying that intoxicated consent is valid consent?
Moving goalposts now? I'm tired of arguing with trolls like you. Enjoy the block.
Lmao what? You’re insane. Bye!
Did you ever to stop to think that you are sexist?
lol you’re sooo close to the point
No, not me, but you’re on the right track!
You're fucking insane.
Nah, I empathize with victims of rape. I urge them to report it when it happens. If you think that’s insane, well, says more about you than it does me
This isn't empathy it's a weird bit you're trying to pull that's intentionally misunderstanding or misrepresenting made up scenarios in which drunk people had sex.
Sorry you’re perceiving it that way, but no, you’re wrong.
I know you want me to be like “oh no poor guy, men have it so hard in the dating world” but I’m not…. I don’t feel sorry for guys who get charged with rape — it’s a simple concept: don’t rape. Don’t assault.
It’s funny that the people on this post have such a problem with that.
Look. It’s pretty clear that you’ve had some trauma but that’s nobody’s fault here. We have a right to free discourse without having to suffer your issues. Wish you well.
What is the point of this comment? I have never been raped, if that is what you’re implying. I’m capable of empathizing with victims of rape
It's heavily implied she consented while intoxicated, which is impossible according to the poster, and is therefore considered rape, even though both were under the influence
And? If either one of them felt as though they were taken advantage of, they should report the rape, no?