this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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[โ€“] Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Hi, we detected high levels of melanin in this video. This is illegal, and we are sending around trained professionals to subdue you. Please listen to this soothing music as you wait."

"The police have been dispatched. Please lay on the floor in the ass beating receiving position and avoid any sudden movements such as sitting in your recliner or taking a nap."