this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2024
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Post-secondary or grade school.

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[–] lady_maria@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

I didn't struggle academically in grade school at all, with the exception of mathematics. And by that, I just mean that I had to put in a moderate amount of effort to learn it.

But when I started college/university in a new city, I was alone, wholly unprepared, and paralyzed by severe (and untreated) anxiety, depression, and ADHD. I didn't know how to make friends by myself. The thought of having to interact with my dorm mates would send me into a panic.

Not to mention, I was not only having a crisis of sexuality, but I also convinced myself that I was an ugly, gross loser whom no one would ever want to be with sexually or romantically. (Jesus.)

I took a break for a semester because I was very suicidal. I started therapy again/taking Zoloft—the latter of which saved my life—and went back for another semester. But I knew, even before going back, that it just wasn't for me. It really didn't help that I already knew college in the US is a scam.

So yeah, I ended up dropping out. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it, now.