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I wonder if Ukraine is having an effect on attitudes.
Anyway, I can't speak for others, but one thing I've come to realize through life experiences is that the best way to resolve differences is to behave civilly and talk. BUT. I've also seen that there are people who do not ascribe to or live by my preferences and ideals for this. There are people who don't value rationality, there are people who can't be shamed or pressured by society into behaving nicely and getting along with others. Those people respect the stick, and only the stick. I don't want to use the stick. But these people do not live by my ideals (which are to talk things out and behave civilly), no matter how I say pretty please to them, and it's foolish to project my values onto them when I see with my own eyes that they behave and react in patterns different to my own. They respect things that scare them or directly threaten them only, and continue to misbehave if all they're going to get for it is a finger-wagging and a scolding.
So it seems very wise to "speak softly and carry a big stick". The military is our stick. There are people out there who will behave in the most horrific uncivil ways right up until the moment they realize you have a big stick, then they'll suddenly rein themselves in, and you can then be civil and talk things out. But that opportunity to talk doesn't appear unless you actually have the stick when you're dealing with folks of that sort of mentality.
It's very important to look at your opponents with clear eyes and see what they ARE doing, not what you wish they would do, and not what you would do if you were in their shoes. As the saying goes, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them."