this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon ponders the cosmic mysteries (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago by MrJameGumb@lemmy.world to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] TallonMetroid@lemmy.world 56 points 3 months ago (4 children)

No, see. Tooth decay, like carnivorousness, only began after Adam and Eve got expelled from Eden. Prior to that, everything existed in harmony sustained on thoughts and prayers.

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 22 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Rib girl doesn't have teeth. She's just rib.

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 5 points 3 months ago

Holy shit ths is hilarious

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 months ago

Its a shame that the idiom 'just ribbing you' to indicate joking around probably doesn't work in proto-hebrew.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 2 points 3 months ago

I'm with Johnny 2x4, I'll stick with plank.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago

I mean, kinda? Tooth decay got way worse when we started relying on sugar-rich grain for most of our calories after we developed agriculture.

[–] RadicalEagle@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

No, see. Tooth decay, carnivorousness, and everything else were seen as neither good nor bad until Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil and gained consciousness. Prior to that, everything was still absolute chaos, but without a knowledge of good and evil there was no way to make value judgements.

Things are the same as they've always been. The only thing that has changed is your perception.

[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No, see. Tooth decay, like carnivorousness, only began after Adam and Eve got expelled from Eden. Prior to that, everything existed in harmony sustained on thoughts and prayers.

why the fuck do you and another commenter have the same exact fucking start. Is the matrix breaking what the fuck is this shit

[–] RadicalEagle@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm using the same structure as the original comment to make it easier to compare/contrast.

The fact that it's causing you mental unrest means you need to report to the main office for a Voight-Kampff test. The tortoise lays on its back, it's belly baking in the hot sun trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?

[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 months ago

damn, shit you right. My bad.

as for why i'm not helping, the tortoise isn't real, it doesn't exist.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ah yes pre Cambrian life

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago

The Vatican’s secret library contains a lost scripture that proves that Adam was an anomalocaris