I understand you, it's hard to tolerate your own brain not wanting to give you the motivation you think you need.
In my case, it helps to write down everything I need to do to accomplish my goal in individual simple tasks and then focusing in the ONE SIMPLE IMMEDIATE THING I need to do in order to do the next one.
Please don't push you too hard, we live in difficult times and struggling is normal, I believe the conditions will improve in the near future.
That's hot af