mhmmm

Just wanted to let you know - I am currently examining my anxiety and exhaustion generating work and study habits hard (and why they are so easy patterns to slip into), and your post helped me answer a question I had and couldn't quite grasp.

Because for me, I generate The Dread© by imagining the disappointment of my professors, my boss, or parents, or whoever gave me the task or has a stake, if I don't do it in time. Which also means that I can't really do stuff for myself unless I imagine my therapist being disappointed or something. Which leads to weird and unusual attachments to people who have no idea of their significance, and a LOT of social anxiety.

But knowing the functionality of this pattern should be quite helpful in gently disengaging from it 🙂 So thanks!

You speak about Cheddar doing stuff with Gouda you have denied yourself doing with Swiss for Gouda's sake, and it's making you vengefully jealous.

~~My question is - did Cheddar explicitly ask these sacrifices of you, or did you just assume that it would be the right thing to do?~~ edit: nevermind, gotta read better...

I feel like both of you handled some things suboptimally, but this particular aspect sounds like you've been doing this to yourself by assuming instead of communicating.

Generally I don't really understand this situation. Jealousy is not something that just happens to someone and has to be avoided. Jealousy is the flashing warning signal that something is not right (like a relationship that is unstable, or a need that isn't met), and the starting point of a conversation, not the end of it. But there doesn't seem to be a conversation around that in your story. Why not?

I will try that with the second batch, that's an awesome idea!!!

What it looks like when used for drawing!

Naja, ich hab wenig Geld und die Notwendigkeit, jeden Tag 60 km zu pendeln, um überhaupt welches zu haben. Da bleibt Zug oder Auto. Ich hasse Auto fahren und mag Zug/Fahrrad fahren, aber wenn es billiger wäre, könnte ich es mir nicht leisten, die "Luxusvariante" Zug zu nehmen.

Ist aber im Endeffekt egal - dazu können wir uns wieder sprechen, wenn Deutschlandticket 120€+ kostet...

Eh, immer noch billiger als Auto neu anschaffen und unterhalten, was für mich die Alternative wäre... insofern 🤷

Da slrpnk.net und feddit.org (im Moment und ohne absehbares Ende) förderiert sind, könnten User auf beiden (und allen anderen förderierten) Instanzen die community sehen, abonnieren und nutzen, egal auf welcher von beidem sie registriert sind. Reichweitenmäßig macht das also nicht so viel - die Existenz bewerben müsste man so oder so. Neue communities aufzuziehen ist wohl nicht ganz trivial.

Und ja, ich glaube, um eine community auf einer Instanz zu erstellen und zu moderieren muss man auf dieser Instanz User sein - insofern würde sich für dich slrpnk eher anbieten. Allerdings ist es auch nicht verboten, mehrere Accounts auf verschiedenen Instanzen zu haben...

Auf slrpnk könntest du außerdem den Vorteil haben, dass schon einige geneigte deutsche User hierher migriert sind, nachdem die Instanz feddit.de untergegangen ist (und bevor feddit.org auftauchte), also größere Chance auf Interessenten.

Ich finde die Idee gut, bin aber ein notorischer lurker und maximal mal Kommentator, weiß also nicht, ob ich persönlich hilfreich wäre. 😅

Würdest du hier auf der SLRPNK-Instanz eine de-community errichten wollen, quasi als deutschsprachiger Anlaufpunkt, oder z.B. auf feddit.org eine solarpunk-community als "Außenposten" im deutschsprachigen Lemmy?

(Ich gehe mal davon aus, dass du keine ganze Instanz hosten möchtest, das wirkt wie overkill)

Und heißt das, das die Wohnungsnot in Berlin jetzt auch aufhört?

Possibly a stupid question, but are you having a menstruation cycle, and if yes, are you tracking it? I was not able to infer the likelihood by your previous responses...

I'm asking because a certain amount of being high energy before and during ovulation, and more down between ovualtion and menstruation is very common, with some people having more severe bodily symptoms (PMS) in the down phase, and there is also a supercharged version of PMS with mainly depression like symptoms, called PMDD. It's caused by a sensitivity to hormonal changes and can develop at any point in life. The monthly cycling sounds a lot like it.

(Possibly not applicable to you, then please ignore it, but maybe useful info for others).

Not for me, I literally don't notice it unless I know it's happening right now and "listen" for it.

But I've been told by other patients that they feel it as light-headedness or dizziness, may feel their heart pounding or like they can't breath, or like the heart/body skips a step, and if the arrhythmia exacerbates to fibrillation, people lose consciousness very quickly (and may or may not die if untreated). Maybe that translates to your experience, but I don't know. Generally it's described more as a continuous feeling for some time, from a couple of seconds up to hours. But it varies a lot. ECG monitoring helps there.

But my specific arrhythmia were also found quite a long time ago, by chance during a standard exam for sports competition fitness as a child. So for pretty much my whole life I've been barred from stimulant and basically psychopharmaceutical medication of any kind, since pretty much all of them can cause or exacerbate heart conditions.

Seeing as I totally don't notice episodes, a scenario where someone didn't go to that exam and unsuspectingly walks around with that same or similar heart condition completely untreated, and kills themself by self-medicating and slipping into fibrillation is totally possible.

That said, it's also not a very wide-spread condition, just a rare possibility. Still, please continue to advocate for yourself to have that checked out!

(Edited for an attempt at brevity)

The problem I have with self-medication (of ADHD meds or any other substance) is not so much that people are doing it - as you said, it's a rough world out there, and you do what you can to survive and function.

But - "Medical supervision of treatment" is (or should be) not just a couple of empty words. All ADHD meds can have serious side effects and contraindications that you don't necessarily know about beforehand or notice by yourself. Discovering your un-diagnosed heart disease by taking amphetamines without supervision and getting life-threatening arrhythmia can just feel like "I'm getting a bit dizzy for a time after taking the meds, no need for concern, I'll just take it easy" (I know, because I have arrhythmia, and wouldn't know it if I hadn't had an ECG, as I barely notice it happening). Medical supervision should catch that kind of thing, that's what it's for.

You and I don't know who reads this and what kind of conclusion they will draw, and what kind of risk assessment they do beforehand trying it out themselves. Giving you the benefit of the doubt that you have done your full research, and are aware that there is a chance you might harm or, if particularly unlucky, kill yourself doing this (especially if you cannot verify the purity of your medication, it could be cut with anything), and have weighed that against the benefits of being able to do work and function better in everyday life, I have no problem with you self-medicating or talking about doing that.

But if you don't transparently communicate these risks, and how you came to your conclusion that this is the only way for you, it looks to others like an easy way to forgo the harder, non-medical, not-as-effective but also not-as-dangerous ways to treat yourself, implying that everyone can and should do it this way.

And I understand why some communities want to curb that from the get-go. Some rules are written in blood.