dystop

So it was my first job was a server at a very popular 24 hour breakfast diner/chain. We had lots of colorful customers.

One morning, I’m serving a woman sitting by herself. I ask her what I can get her, and she says she’d like an omelette. We have a list of pre-built omelettes, or you can build your own, so I ask her how she’d like her omelette. “Just a regular omelette, please” she tells me.

“Okay, so you don’t want one of the signature omelettes, what would you like inside of yours?” I ask

“Nothing, just a regular omelette.” She replies with a huff

I pause for a second because this order does occur, but not often. Some people like their eggs scrambled and cooked, then rolled up. “So you’d like an omelette with nothing inside?”

“YES! A plain omelette!” She snaps, now irritated that I’ve questioned her several times.

Cue malicious compliance.

So I enter the order, a 5-egg omelette with no fillings and no toppings. A few minutes later it comes out, and she is appalled. “What is THIS?!”

"Your plain omelette," I reply...

“But where is the cheese, or the ham or the onions?!” She is irate.

“Ma’am, you ordered an omelette with nothing inside...”

She gets cocky and says, “An omelette is eggs rolled up with ham, cheese, and onions! Everything else is extra! You should know this, working at a breakfast place!”

I look at her deadpan and inform her “Actually, ma’am, omelette is French for scrambled eggs that are fried and rolled or folded; everything else is extra.”

I’m busy so I walk off and help other colorful customers, meanwhile she flags down a manager to complain, who confirms what I told her and points out that in the menu there is, very specifically, a ham cheese and onion omelette with a large picture in the middle of the page.

Then tells her she has to re-order her meal and wait a second time.

She didn’t leave a tip.

TL;DR: A customer ordered a "regular omelette" and got annoyed when I asked questions about fillings or toppings. So, I put in the order for a 5-egg plain omelette. She was so irritated and complained to the manager who backed me up. She had to order again and didn't leave a tip.

[reposted from reddit]

[reposted from reddit - I am not OP]

I work at a store that sells kitchen appliances and other kitchen related stuff, normally when we’re supposed to leave or go on break we’re supposed to tell our manager, I was helping a long line at cash register and had already been there for 8 hours and assumed they had someone to cover me, I wasn’t allowed to use the walkies to ask to be covered to go home, so I quickly found my manager and told her my shift was done.

She got really prissy at me and said, “Could you really not stay a few more minutes?” I tried to tell her, “I thought you had someone to cover me I can stay if you want.” She then replied, “No no just go, but next time you need to wait for a manager to let you go home.”

record scratch

This was never a rule, I asked other people who’ve worked there for years and they agreed that it wasn’t a rule.

I worked again a few days later and the store was empty, my shift was over and was about to ask to go home then I remember what my manager told me.

Cue malicious compliance.

I continued to wander the store and slightly fix shelves, making sure I was near my manager.

After about 2 and a half hours she said, “You’re still here, why haven’t you gone home?” I replied, “You said I need to wait to be told to go home.” My manager looked at me as though she was mentally kicking herself. “Just go,” she said.

I clocked out and got paid an extra $30 for doing literally nothing.

TL;DR: My manager got so annoyed when I told her my shift was done that she said I had to wait for a manager to dismiss me after my shift. Well, the next time I worked I waited around for 2 and a half hours doing nothing waiting to get dismissed. When my manager noticed, she told me to go and that's how I got paid an extra 2 hours for doing nothing.

That way, if there are any damages, you can take a picture with the newspaper and "prove" that the damage was there when you moved in.

No more late return fees!

[REPOST]

There are a handful of rules to saluting in the American military. The when, why, and how is drilled into you from boot camp until the day you leave. Even the order in which the salutes are rendered have meaning. When it comes to vehicles there are helpful insignia and stickers to indicate if its an officer such as a colored sticker located on the front windshield.

My base was small enough where it was everyone's job at some point to do sentry duty at the front gate which had housing for military families. Sentry duty was pretty basic, you'd stop every vehicle, check IDs and then wave them through. If they were an officer you'd see it coming with those colored stickers and after verifying the identity of the officer, you'd salute and send them on their way.

One day while on duty I approached a vehicle with an officer's sticker and there was only the officer's wife driving in the vehicle. I returned her ID, wished her a nice day and waved her through. Pausing with a stern look, "Where's my salute?"

Now, Karen here was wife to a higher ranking officer and has clearly has fallen under the impression people are saluting her somewhere along the way. Some of the junior enlisted might've even been saluting her as they're more prone to f*ck ups.

I politely replied, "Ma'am salutes are only rendered to commissioned officers." Angrily pointing her fingers at the front of her windshield towards her husband's officer sticker, "I have a sticker and you need to salute the sticker." Curtly I continued, "I'm afraid that sticker is not an officer either."

Frustrated she pulled through and left my post. My cover guy and I watched her drive down the street and pull right into the administrative building with the top brass and huffed into the building as quickly as her body would take her. We exchange a look between us with wry smiles knowing exactly where this is probably going.

Later that day, we get a new official base-wide mandate. From here forward all enlisted will salute vehicle stickers of officers regardless of who's in the vehicle. Rodger that.

Cue malicious compliance.

It's worth noting that when you salute an officer as enlisted, you do it first, and you hold that salute until you are saluted in return and they lower theirs. Only then do you lower your salute. It signals that you're saluting them, and they're replying.

Additionally, when saluting a group of officers, you generally direct your salute and greeting to the highest-ranking individual. Now as far as I know this stupid sticker salute order has no accommodation for how a 2004 Toyota Camry fits into the officers pecking order. Additionally if the car is unoccupied, it's not like that sticker is removed.

After that order came through we all began saluting stickers. Personally, I'd direct my salute to the sticker. I would also prioritize sticker salutes over officers. Let me tell you, walking through parking lots was a blast as I saluted empty cars on my way to where ever. More and more people saw me doing it, and more and more people started doing it.

Not long after the order was publicly rescinded, which hilariously had the balancing effect of never rendering a salute to anyone but a clearly known officer cementing Karen never getting her unearned salutes.

TL;DR: Civilian wife demanded to be saluted because her husband was an officer, used her clout to get a rule enlisted ordering us to salute vehicle stickers. We all followed orders and saluted vehicle stickers, prioritized them over officers, and even empty vehicles in parking lots until the rule was rescinded, ensuring the civilian wife never got her salutes.

If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, write "sorry" on one of those cards and stick it on their windshield.

[reposted from reddit]

This happened several years ago when my ex and I were going through a heated divorce. While we were married, we had a couple of conversations about how rich people hide their assets to avoid paying taxes.

I've never had enough assets to do this, but she somehow got the idea that I was and told her attorney that I was laundering money and hiding income. It was more likely the heat of the moment as divorces often come down to. I couldn't even afford my own attorney so I represented myself.

Her lawyer wasn't a total ass, but he clearly was out to get me, and he talked down to me like I didn't deserve to breathe the same air. One day, I get a letter in the mail from him requesting an updated income declarations form and 3 years of financials. It had a long-ass list of things to include.

I own a communications tech company that was in super startup phase back then. Money was already tight. I was trying to get this business off the ground with no financing, I was finishing my MBA with scholarships and loans, so paying for copies and postage or driving this 30 miles to his office meant eating peanut butter and saltines for a week. So I called him to explain my situation. He all but called me a liar and didn't believe I couldn't afford it.

I was put off by that, and I said this was taking time away from business I needed to handle. To which he replied (and I'll never forget this), "Well, according to your income declarations, you're not that busy. What do you do all day?" He then said if he didn't get these documents, he would consider my previous filings as fake tell the judge, contact the DA, and also alert the state tax agency and IRS. Probably an empty threat, but I'm no lawyer.

Efax is one of the services my company provides, and at this time it was relatively unknown. So I asked him if he has a fax machine. He said he had a fax/scanner/copier device, then said what law office doesn't have a fax machine? And I suddenly got an idea.

Cue malicious compliance.

Okay, I said to him, I'll put together and fax whatever I can. You want 3 years of financials? You got it.

I scanned-to-PDF every receipt I could find. McDonald's receipt from 5 years ago? F*ck it, won't hurt to include it. CVS receipt? It's 3 miles long, perfect. They get the $1 off toothpaste coupons too.

I downloaded every bank statement, credit card statement, purchase orders from vendors, and every invoice I sent to clients. I printed to PDF the entire 3 year accounting journal, monthly/quarterly/annual balance sheets, cash flow statements, P & L's. Not only did I PDF 3 years of tax filings, but every single letter I received from the IRS and state tax agency, including the inserts advising me of my rights. It took awhile, but I was a few days ahead of the deadline!

I made a cover page black background with white lettering. Wherever I could, I included separator pages in all caps in the biggest, boldest font that would fit on the page in landscape: 20XX RECEIPTS, 20XX TAXES, etc.

I merged everything into a single 150+ page compressed PDF and sent the document using my Efax system. Every hour or so, I received a status email saying the fax failed. Huh, that's weird. Well, they're getting this document. So I changed the system configuration to unlimited retries after failures to keep redialing until it went through. Weird, I was still getting status email failures. I'll delete the failure emails and keep the success one after it eventually goes through, I thought. Problem solved.

Two days later, a lady from his office called and asked me to stop sending the fax. Their fax/scanner/printer/copier had been printing non-stop. It kept getting paper jams, kept running out of ink and they had to keep shutting it off and back on to print.

I explained that her boss told me to send this by the deadline or else he would call the DA and IRS. Since I didn't want a call from the DA or the IRS, I would keep sending until I get a success confirmation. I suggested they just not print until my fax completes, but she didn't like that.

She asked me to email the documents, and I told a little white lie that my email wouldn't allow an attachment that big. Unless her boss in writing agreed to cancel the request or agree to reimburse me for my costs to print and ship, I said I would continue to fax until they confirm they have received every page.

She put me on hold, and the attorney gets on the line. He said forget sending the financials. I said that I would need this in writing, so I will keep sending the fax until he sent that to me. He asked me to stop faxing and he would send it in writing, and I said send it in writing first and then I'll stop.

Long moment of silence... click.

About 20 minutes later, I received an email from his assistant with an attached, signed letter in PDF that I no longer needed to provide financials. The letter then threatened to pursue sanctions in court or sue me for interfering with their business. Every time I saw him after that, the lawyer never brought up financials again.

TL;DR: My ex accused me of hiding income and money laundering, so her divorce lawyer demanded 3 years of financials. I spam faxed them with my company's Efax service until they told me to stop.

That way, if you damage anything, you have video proof that you left it in good condition.