this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2023
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Parents who shout at their children or call them “stupid” are leaving their offspring at greater risk of self-harm, drug use and ending up in jail, new research claims.

Talking harshly to children should be recognised as a form of abuse because of the huge damage it does, experts say.

The authors of a new study into such behaviour say “adult-to-child perpetration of verbal abuse … is characterised by shouting, yelling, denigrating the child, and verbal threats”.

“These types of adult actions can be as damaging to a child’s development as other currently recognised and forensically established subtypes of mistreatment such as childhood physical and sexual abuse,” the academics say in their paper in the journal Child Abuse & Neglect.

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[–] newthrowaway20@lemmy.world 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My first girlfriend in highschool had severe anxiety and was so incredibly quiet and shy. It was so tough cuz she was a genuinely sweet and caring person once she opened up to you. I was extremely surprised to learn her family was nothing like that when I met them. Until I met her dad, and he kept calling her an idiot, and stupid, and useless. Then I understood why she never wanted to say anything. Every time she opened her mouth she was criticized by her dad. This attitude towards your own kids is insanely damaging.

[–] phx@lemmy.world 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I think an important thing parents need to do (apart from tearing down their kids for no reason) is differentiate DOING something dumb versus BEING dumb.

A comment my dad made long ago when I was young kinda stuck with me "For a kid who's really smart you sure do some really dumb shit sometimes"

I've tried to phrase things like that to my kids, not "you dumbass why did you do that?" but more along "you're smart enough to know you shouldn't do that, so why did you?"

[–] Sodis@feddit.de 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Or you could use positive reinforcement instead of belittling your kids. You can explain, why stuff they did was wrong without calling them dumb. They are kids after all, they don't know stuff, have a lot to learn and it is hard for them to completely grasp the consequences of their actions.

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He didn't call them dumb he called their actions dumb. Wow u missed the entire point of his post.

[–] Sodis@feddit.de 0 points 11 months ago

Just read the other comment strain, where people argue, that exactly this parenting fucked them up. Positive reinforcement is the go to parenting style.

[–] crypticthree@lemmy.world 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Although I don't think verbal abuse is acceptable, I think that equivalency is a bit much

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 0 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

While what you and I feel doesn't matter much, we truly need a scientific study of this. Oh, wait! That's what this was. Please defer to objective consensus...

[–] crowlemo@sh.itjust.works 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Lol. Fuck off. Objective consensus? Are you part of team "trust the science" thinking every fucking study is well done or non biased?

[–] Sodis@feddit.de 0 points 11 months ago

How about you take the study at hand and point out, where it is not well done?