The Onion

NEW YORK—Saying it reminded him why he comes to work every morning, Solarion Enterprises CEO Dan Lipcot told reporters Friday that in order to stay motivated at the office, he always kept a photo of himself on his desk. “When I’m working long hours at night or on the weekend, this photo helps me to take a step back and remember who I’m doing it for,” said Lipcot, tearing up as he pointed at the image and stated that “this guy, this guy right here” was the reason for everything he did. “This job can be a real grind sometimes, but when I look at this picture and see that face smiling back at me, I realize it’s all worth it to make that fella happy,” he added. “After all, in the long run, the one thing that really matters is my ability to make lots and lots of money.” Lipcot added that the photo also reminded him to get home from work at a decent hour so that he could make sure he was spending plenty of quality time with himself.