this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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The Onion

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RFK Jr. Vows To Ban Soaps That Smell So Good You Eat A Little (theonion.com)
submitted 6 days ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[–] zib@lemmy.world 72 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Dammit, The Onion got me again. These headlines lately are too believable.

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

“Insiders have been peddling the lies that these apple cinnamon soaps aren’t dangerous, but I know firsthand how bad they actually taste."

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 34 points 6 days ago

I believed it at first

[–] j4p@lemm.ee 30 points 6 days ago

This seems less crazy than the things he'll actually say

[–] HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.one 22 points 6 days ago (1 children)

the onion has been on fire recently.

[–] jwt@programming.dev 13 points 6 days ago

The length of time I've seen people commenting this, makes me think they mean 'recently' on a geological scale.

[–] ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee 23 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Stop giving him ideas

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ah fuck almost bit this onion.

[–] Nelots@lemm.ee 5 points 6 days ago

Did it smell good? Might need to ban onions too.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

The onion should really start hiring like crazy. They're about to start getting so much material that their staff will be totally overwhelmed.

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

Satire is dead.

[–] spamellama@midwest.social 5 points 6 days ago

Watch out, he's coming for scented markers next

[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 6 points 6 days ago

But if you only eat poison, the brain worms will starve

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Well it would be bad if we began eating soap. Right?

[–] pythonoob@programming.dev 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Better than bleach... Right?

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 1 points 6 days ago

I’m no scientist, but I think so.

[–] Infomatics90@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 days ago

I love eating Irish spring. tastes like Guinness.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

heh. keep your personal dietary habits to yourself trench head

[–] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 6 days ago

You can't eat the marbles.