this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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Just a thought I had, like what can a ten year old do(besides mass murder & accidents) that messes up their life so badly that it is unrecoverable?

It has to be something that is self inflicted and not something that is the cause of others around them.

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[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The most formatting event in everyone life nowadays, and the one most negatively impactful is being born poor, that is age zero.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 days ago

Being born into a life of wage slavery and renting.

Thanks mom and dad.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 63 points 5 days ago (14 children)

If, when you're born, you don't choose to be rich, that messes you up forever.

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[–] Alice@beehaw.org 17 points 4 days ago

I grew up in a hoarder house and I'm pretty sure I ruined my life by teaching myself to do the dishes as a kid. I was expected to keep the place clean for the rest of my childhood, and that turned into me being the only one to do chores of any kind. I was actually guilt tripped into skipping college so I'd be available to drive my sister to classes.

So yeah forget all the drugs and murder and shit. The real worst thing a child can do is wash a dish.

[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 45 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I was watching a Netflix documtary about killers, the guy said he was on drugs by age 9...so pretty sure that messed up his life before the murder. It is debatable on if surroundings or self choices are why you try drugs I guess.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago (2 children)

It takes a certain kind of environment to enable that.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Agreed. Also Nancy Reagan told me not to, and I was not in a position to argue.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

Well, if Nancy said so, it must be true.

[–] 13esq@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Right, "should I do drugs?" is not a typical choice for a 9 year old to have to make, they should be protected from that. I have heard stories of particularly shitty parents giving drugs to their own young children.

[–] monobot@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 days ago

9 year olds don't have "self choice" to use drugs.

Evem adults most often don't have it. Addiction starts with trauma, often in mother's womb. If mother is under stress while pregnant, huge and long stress, child has much bigger chances to become an addict.

[–] Carrolade@lemmy.world 34 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Any significant injury that results in paralysis would be a potential candidate. These become possible as soon as you become old enough to climb things like trees.

[–] iii@mander.xyz 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Diving head first into shallow water comes to mind

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Also: eating random slug you find on the street.

[–] meco03211@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago

Nah. You could still be nominated for director of HHS.

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[–] Haus@kbin.earth 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

A kid in my class put his arm inside a... I don't remember if it was a lion or tiger cage back on the 70s before safety was a thing. Being armless isn't the end, but I bet he regretted that decision.

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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 3 days ago

I can do you one better: decide to explore near that baby gate that got left open.

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Being conceived by shitty people is more than enough to have a life arguably ruined permanently before it even began.

So much can happen to ruin a person's life at any stage, even pre-conception.

[–] 13esq@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

OP is asking about wrong/bad/poor choices etc, the last sentence of their post specifically says it's not about situations that are inflicted upon them.

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You're right; those were poor choices by the parents.

Really, the question is more about "When do we stop attributing bad choices to the parent and start attributing them to the child?"

Because babies and toddlers can make lots of stupid decisions.

[–] 13esq@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I would argue that babies and toddlers wouldn't be held accountable for their bad choices, even though they could foreseeably be life changing for the worst, if they stuck their hand in a blender for example. Although you could argue that in this case a parent/carer should not leave a young child near a dangerous object.

Most people would agree that a person that is fully accountable when they are considered an adult, we usually apply the arbitrary age of 18, although I do find it strange that a person that is 17 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds old is a child and one second later they're magically an adult.

There is definitely a grey area in the early teens or possibly even younger where you can definitely make a decision that ruins your life. An example that comes to mind is when two ten year old boys stole a toddler, then tortured, sexually assaulted and murdered him. They were judged as having the ability to act with criminal intent, found guilty and sentenced to prison.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger?wprov=sfla1

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 26 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Playing with fireworks, firearms, or chemicals can be a solid way for anyone of any age to ruin their life.

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

But doesn’t that count as an accident? Kids who play with fireworks don’t cram a steel can full of black powder imagining how cool it would be to loose your fingers and eyes.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Maybe kids are too short sighted to see the risk, but who says they don’t do that? Among the stupid things I did as a kid was try to turn any tube into a gun/cannon/firework mortar, and hold it in my hands to aim and launch. We even had the benefit of my grandfather losing a couple fingers as a cautionary tale, that we completely ignored. If something happened, could you really call that an accident?

Or the time we were playing with fireworks …. In a barn full of dry hay? I don’t know how my grandfather let us live after that one

….. but there’s a threshold of stupidity where you really can’t call it an accident. I’m happy to have survived in one piece all too many bouts of stupidity but the adult me wouldn’t call it an accident if something happened

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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago

You're never too young to die, so the saying goes.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 9 points 4 days ago

Having success in sports, entertainment or anything that pays out real money. There's not a lot of happy stories about child stars.

[–] Retro_unlimited@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago

I remember as a kid, I met these other kids that would drink from the side of the street. That sewer water was full of nasty including gas and oil runoff from the roads and who knows what else.

I also had an ex that would drink the chemicals under the sink as a tiny kid.

[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 6 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Growing up in a house with sa at any age. For me I raw dogged life for my adult years blocking it out but stuff catches up and can be catastrophic.

[–] secret300@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 4 days ago

I feel that. I'm about to be 23 and now it's on my mind again for some reason and idk what to do.

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[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 13 points 5 days ago

Be born a woman in Afghanistan... come out the womb to "And that's when she knew she had fucked up."

I'm not certain if this is in the spirit of your question but even a murderer in the US has privileges denied to a lot of other people.

[–] SpaceFox@lemmy.ml 11 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Drugs at any age. Sure you can get clean but it takes a very pacific type of person to do that and there are more people who have failed then ones who have succeeded. I made the mistake of using drugs at a young age and it has destroyed my life beyond repair. If there are any young people reading this just remember it's not worth it. Trust me nobody hates drugs more then drugheads.

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[–] Ziggurat@sh.itjust.works 12 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Actually, the younger you fuck up, the worse are the consequences. A 13 year old go in a school fight, he is kicked out of school, has to go in another school further away, sleep less, see his grade fall down, and next year he'll be pushed to start an apprenticeship rather than high school.

A 31 one year old (otherwise a good citizen) does the same. He'll spend a night in police custody and at worst pays a fine (with a high probability that change are dropped because judges and prosecutor are busy)

[–] Artemis_Mystique@lemmy.ml 11 points 5 days ago

I agree with your general point but I don't agree with your example because apprenticeship can still lead to stable employment and a fulfilling life

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

That's a very unusual example. If you're prepubescent you can get away with straight up murder in a lot of jurisdictions and basically go back to your life after a few years, of lots of therapy, and legal supervision.

[–] Pointtwogo@lemmy.ml 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] 13esq@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

To be fair, OP is asking about bad/poor/wrong decisions, the last sentence of their post specifically says it's not about situations that are inflicted upon them. No one gets to choose where they are born.

[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 7 points 5 days ago

what can a ten year old do(besides mass murder & accidents) that messes up their life so badly that it is unrecoverable?

kill their own parents (it's not technically mass murder until you've killed three people).

[–] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 days ago

Young enough to sleep with your teacher

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