Firecracker is the nearest thing to a red rocket, so
this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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Why did they write "to" as 2, but then the actual number 1 as "one"?
Firecracker and it's not even close. I've put ice cubes up there before and it wasn't nearly as bad as you'd imagine. The shape of it will make it easy. Plus, the ridges on it mean you'll have less ice in contact with your skin. At some point it melts and it's just a Popsicle stick.
Edit: Additional thoughts on this because I can't stop thinking about how goofy this is lol. I've cream sandwich and to a lesser degree the chipwich are tempting. The difficulty would be that they just crumble and don't really go in, but you have to shove it in. I'm counting melted ice cream/ice that comes out after it's in as not needing to be reinserted. I've cream sandwich "crust" is actually very soft so it wouldn't be bad to have in there. It's just the process of getting it in would be very weirdly difficult.
Many of the other choices (like the snow cone thing and push pop) have a lot of plastic parts that make it basically impossible.
The drumstick may seem tempting but it's just gonna crack and hurt.
Once the popsicle stick of the firecracker is in, you just softly pull it out. The biggest risk is splinters, but I don't think popsicle sticks in popsicles ever really have splinters like the loose ones you can buy for projects.
What you're not even gonna give me the sponge Bob as a choice??
Not including a Golden Gaytime in these options is a real missed opportunity...
That's so weird - I heard about, for the first time, and looked up this ice-cream only this morning. There was a failed petition to change the name, which generated a number of counter petitions.
In you go tweety bird
In Germany we have an ice cram called Flutsch Finger for exactly that purpose.
Truly a (reverse?) shitpost.
Asked my girlfriend for a second opinion, she said Screwball backwards and she's right, damn it.
I've seen enough EMT Tiktok to know that I need a flared base.
So I'ma have to go with screwball but upside down
Firecracker would be the least cumbersome. But I always wondered what it would be like to be penetrated by a taco, instead of the other way around.
You fuck tacos?
Of the pink variety.
Firecracker for ease, Tweety to please.
Anyone who doesn't choose a Creamsicle is not getting the full experience of something up your ass
Probably the firecracker
Firecracker.
Aerodynamic.
11, horizontally. I'm gonna put the "choco" in "choco taco"
Push pop sounds made for the job
With that flat top and wide body?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Chocolate Eclair. Nice texture. Really scrapes the sides clean.
Now this is shitposting
Technically he only posted ice-cream
You can’t stop me from shoving them all up there.
Wait is this like a retrospective or more aspirational?
What's the rectal equivalent of brain freeze? Prostate & chill?
I only like room temperature objects in my ass. I will have to pass.
Your mom's fist isn't on the list... So, none of the above.
No contest, push pop has a user friendly applicator
Snowcone because it melts faster and will moisen the paper making it easier to remove.
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Push pop, backwards.
Tweety's gonna go spelunking.
Choco tacos for the classy evenings
You'd put a Choco Taco in your choco taco? Fierce.
It's boffo
I've been talking about Choco Tacos all week. What the fuck do I have to do to get one? This implies they are still around for me to be able to shove one up my ass. Is that what I have to do? I'll fucking do it at this point
I might get flagged for spamming this same response everywhere, but snow cone backwards all day, Alex.
Anyone that says anything other than Choco Taco is a coward.
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